taking in is a huge pleasure
but
it cant be compared to the feeling of giving.
Giving itself is a gift. i shall abide by that rule. but not too much tho.
and been really hectic these few days. was not given the chance to blog. *smiles*
and i had an absolutely wonderful week. million thanks to those special ppl in my life.
and you guys are special to me in every way. just that im not good at expressing it, be it with words or actions.
sometimes, for regconition, ppl will do lots of stupid stuffs. i just hope i wont be like that.
and im very pleased with myself these few days. dun ask me why. *grin*
oh i gonna start working next week!! back at my old work place. arh dr yapppppppppppp. muahaha *drools* hahaha k my ears r turning red.
Friday, April 22, 2005
I almost got drunk at school, at fourteen
Where I almost made out with the Homecoming Queen
Who almost went on to be Miss Texas
But lost to a slut, with much bigger breast-es
I almost dropped out to move to LA
Where I was almost famous for almost a day
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished you would've loved me too
I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did five years and then seven more
Cause I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cause he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cause you ran away
And I wish I would've had the nerve to ask you to stay
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missing you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Here I go, thinking 'bout all the things I could've done
I'm gonna need a forklift, cause all the baggage weighs a ton(baggage weighs a ton)
I know we've had our problems, I can't remember one
I almost forgot to say something else
And if I can't fit it in, I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missing you
And I almost had you (almost had you)
Almost had you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Where I almost made out with the Homecoming Queen
Who almost went on to be Miss Texas
But lost to a slut, with much bigger breast-es
I almost dropped out to move to LA
Where I was almost famous for almost a day
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost loved you
I almost wished you would've loved me too
I almost held up a grocery store
Where I almost did five years and then seven more
Cause I almost got popped for a fight with a thug
Cause he almost made off with a bunch of the drugs
That I almost got hooked on cause you ran away
And I wish I would've had the nerve to ask you to stay
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missing you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Here I go, thinking 'bout all the things I could've done
I'm gonna need a forklift, cause all the baggage weighs a ton(baggage weighs a ton)
I know we've had our problems, I can't remember one
I almost forgot to say something else
And if I can't fit it in, I'll keep it all to myself
I almost wrote a song about you today
But I tore it all up and then I threw it away
And I almost had you
But I guess that doesn't cut it
Almost had you
And I didn't even know it
You kept me guessin' and now I'm destined
To spend my time missing you
And I almost had you (almost had you)
Almost had you
I almost wish you would've loved me too
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
on mon, i had the best day ever. thanks to those who made it special for me. it wasnt the presie or the meal but having you guys there made it special. it was unexpected. i was shocked but most of all i feel blessed. for having them in my life. i love you guys alot. really i do. you noe who you are. thanks for making it special for me. *smiles*
and mr nur rasyidi and mr tan wan yang, thanks for the delicious dinner n the card.u guys are sweet n definitely the best. muacks.
sab n daph, again i just wanna say im lucky to have you guys in my life. *smiles*
and the rest too. haha you guys noe who you are riteeee..
and i had trg yest!. it was good to play touch again. i mean with the angels. but was rather disappointed with the number of juniors dat came. 5? n the rest was just seniors. hmm o well.
and mr nur rasyidi and mr tan wan yang, thanks for the delicious dinner n the card.u guys are sweet n definitely the best. muacks.
sab n daph, again i just wanna say im lucky to have you guys in my life. *smiles*
and the rest too. haha you guys noe who you are riteeee..
and i had trg yest!. it was good to play touch again. i mean with the angels. but was rather disappointed with the number of juniors dat came. 5? n the rest was just seniors. hmm o well.
Monday, April 18, 2005
i finally turned 20! the big-0. and more to come. haha not really looking forward to but im here so there!
haha thanks darlingsssssss for all the presies. love them alot. u guys noe who u are.
thanks candy for the lil gift. it was memorable.
and matin. yeah. thanks, ur one sweet guy.
and i received more than 10 bday smses. that really made my day. the mms from my auntie. it was a pleasure. i felt loved. and every single one dat contributed to it. i dun need celebrations. just gestures to show U remembered will be enough. *smiles*
and the wonderful birthday song. it was touching and sweet. thanks. u know who you are. *hugs*
above all. the rugby sevens rawks! haha n i enjoyed my volunteered work. made new friends. it was good. the atmosphere. the ppl. the enthusiasm. the passionate guy. the runners. and of cos the FOOD!!!! o well. i think the days i've tried to lose weight was rather futile. it was just nice with my company siti sabariah abdul rashid, she just encouraged me to eat more. haha. muacks. sayang sab. thanks my dear for being there. and daphne. thanks darl.
and i so find the rugby guys HOT. like scorching hot. haha especially mr. ellison. phewwww. i think i drmt bt him. my kind of guy. o well. all i can say is that he's super hot. *smiles* the next guy on my list eh sab.
haha thanks darlingsssssss for all the presies. love them alot. u guys noe who u are.
thanks candy for the lil gift. it was memorable.
and matin. yeah. thanks, ur one sweet guy.
and i received more than 10 bday smses. that really made my day. the mms from my auntie. it was a pleasure. i felt loved. and every single one dat contributed to it. i dun need celebrations. just gestures to show U remembered will be enough. *smiles*
and the wonderful birthday song. it was touching and sweet. thanks. u know who you are. *hugs*
above all. the rugby sevens rawks! haha n i enjoyed my volunteered work. made new friends. it was good. the atmosphere. the ppl. the enthusiasm. the passionate guy. the runners. and of cos the FOOD!!!! o well. i think the days i've tried to lose weight was rather futile. it was just nice with my company siti sabariah abdul rashid, she just encouraged me to eat more. haha. muacks. sayang sab. thanks my dear for being there. and daphne. thanks darl.
and i so find the rugby guys HOT. like scorching hot. haha especially mr. ellison. phewwww. i think i drmt bt him. my kind of guy. o well. all i can say is that he's super hot. *smiles* the next guy on my list eh sab.
Friday, April 15, 2005
okay. i really cannot slp. the thing is slpt pretty early like 10+, but i woke up at 12 and den i cant go back to slp after that.
anyway today's the official last day of skool. and i haf officially graduated from sp with a diploma. *grin*. yep. i passed. everything i believe. collected back all my work for this year. was pretty heavy. and i attracted unwanted attentions. issit really my looks? do i really look foreign? cos i always get these qns like are you a singaporean? or are you from singapore? hmmm. wonder wonder.
and i had a grt time chilling with my classmates. just sat at fc5 and chatted till 7plus. had to go cos someone forgot that his fam is celebrating his chinese birthday today. o well. but im glad i know them in my life. im gonna miss them. the bond we had is just not easy to come by. we have open conversations where it was pretty much deep. it was just nice hearing from each other's side of stories. stories told by them. how interesting to hear their point of view and experiences. how well we connected and of cos their jokes. like one had to think out loud that all those pornstars are definitely not virgins <--- like duh?! or like one's computer making weird noises like eeyork and mices squeak?
bout how someone can influence you without you knowing the effect the person has on you.
it can either be in a good or bad way. but its just weird. i do things that i don't think i wld have done previously. not gonna quote any examples tho. but i must admit that it has a good effect on me. and im thankful for that.
i need job. but a flexible one tho. hmmm. suntec eh. haha yesh daph. u've got a date with me on mon. who knows the lady luck may just wanna smile on us on that day itself. *smiles*
im changing my blog layout. again. soon. im getting sick of this layout. soon soon.
i enjoy those moment where i just smile to myself thinking of sweet memories. of anything nice n funny. the spangels, my little cousins, my nice conversations, the babes, my classmates, my fam and yah the touch game itself.
cant wait for the trg next week.
oh anyway the grad party was a riot. more like the post party thingy. dem getting thrown into the pool. heh.
and my net's been down these few days. its the rain. definitely. haha i just hate the connections.
and my sis bought a new webcam. muaahahaha. okay. erh ya. but if u miss me, msn me ya. =p
and i cant wait for rugby sevens itself.
the fear of losing someone.
i don't want that to happen. and i cant bear to go thru that moment again. its too painful.
now that im free. im gonna take care of my father well. im scared. hes not doing well.
i don't want him in the hospital. nope. not again.
Why Do We
Why do we do the things
we know will hurt others
is it because of the lust inside us
or is it the long for the touch of another
why do we say the things
we know will haunt our minds
is it because we believe it's right
or is it the voice within that hides
why do we make these decisions
that we know are mistakes
is it because we believe we'll learn
or is it the drive to make a break
why do we regret what we do
when they once made us smile
is it the fact it now causes you pain because it's gone
or is it knowing you only had it for awhile
and why do we ask ourselves why
when we know no one will answer
is it because it's our only way to forget
or is it the knowing you'll never know...
hmm. ya. why?
why do we want something that
we know we wont be happy with
and why do we reject
the ones that we'll be happy with?
issit becos we'r too scared
to make that commitment
or are we just afraid
of getting hurt again?
or maybe we just dont want
to lose someone that wonderful...
that exist in our life
maybe...
anyway today's the official last day of skool. and i haf officially graduated from sp with a diploma. *grin*. yep. i passed. everything i believe. collected back all my work for this year. was pretty heavy. and i attracted unwanted attentions. issit really my looks? do i really look foreign? cos i always get these qns like are you a singaporean? or are you from singapore? hmmm. wonder wonder.
and i had a grt time chilling with my classmates. just sat at fc5 and chatted till 7plus. had to go cos someone forgot that his fam is celebrating his chinese birthday today. o well. but im glad i know them in my life. im gonna miss them. the bond we had is just not easy to come by. we have open conversations where it was pretty much deep. it was just nice hearing from each other's side of stories. stories told by them. how interesting to hear their point of view and experiences. how well we connected and of cos their jokes. like one had to think out loud that all those pornstars are definitely not virgins <--- like duh?! or like one's computer making weird noises like eeyork and mices squeak?
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
wonder
ive been thinking lately. okay not really. but yeah. hahabout how someone can influence you without you knowing the effect the person has on you.
it can either be in a good or bad way. but its just weird. i do things that i don't think i wld have done previously. not gonna quote any examples tho. but i must admit that it has a good effect on me. and im thankful for that.
i need job. but a flexible one tho. hmmm. suntec eh. haha yesh daph. u've got a date with me on mon. who knows the lady luck may just wanna smile on us on that day itself. *smiles*
im changing my blog layout. again. soon. im getting sick of this layout. soon soon.
i enjoy those moment where i just smile to myself thinking of sweet memories. of anything nice n funny. the spangels, my little cousins, my nice conversations, the babes, my classmates, my fam and yah the touch game itself.
cant wait for the trg next week.
oh anyway the grad party was a riot. more like the post party thingy. dem getting thrown into the pool. heh.
and my net's been down these few days. its the rain. definitely. haha i just hate the connections.
and my sis bought a new webcam. muaahahaha. okay. erh ya. but if u miss me, msn me ya. =p
and i cant wait for rugby sevens itself.
Friday, April 08, 2005
losing someone
im back to where i was before. months ago, before my mom paased away.the fear of losing someone.
i don't want that to happen. and i cant bear to go thru that moment again. its too painful.
now that im free. im gonna take care of my father well. im scared. hes not doing well.
i don't want him in the hospital. nope. not again.
Sunday, April 03, 2005
why do we?
just something i saw somewhere. why?Why Do We
Why do we do the things
we know will hurt others
is it because of the lust inside us
or is it the long for the touch of another
why do we say the things
we know will haunt our minds
is it because we believe it's right
or is it the voice within that hides
why do we make these decisions
that we know are mistakes
is it because we believe we'll learn
or is it the drive to make a break
why do we regret what we do
when they once made us smile
is it the fact it now causes you pain because it's gone
or is it knowing you only had it for awhile
and why do we ask ourselves why
when we know no one will answer
is it because it's our only way to forget
or is it the knowing you'll never know...
hmm. ya. why?
why do we want something that
we know we wont be happy with
and why do we reject
the ones that we'll be happy with?
issit becos we'r too scared
to make that commitment
or are we just afraid
of getting hurt again?
or maybe we just dont want
to lose someone that wonderful...
that exist in our life
maybe...
Saturday, April 02, 2005
i feel like keeping myself low profile. nothing extra ordinary happened or something worth mentioning.
suddenly everything else and anything else doesn seem to matter.
i don't know what it means but somehow, i don't know. had my ups and downs during this time of week. been thinking alot. about friends. crudeness. family. my late mom. my future. my current state of mind is in a mess. i am there but not there. heh
been giving myself the space. i need to plan out what to do. i cant just go with the flow. its making me feel uncomfortable. tho i may not follow THE plan, i still need something to guide me thru.
im not thinking of anyone. hmmm. nope. nt at all. well maybe my late mum. quaker oats. i used to cook that for her everyday. to make her eat. cos she din like to eat anything else. how i tried adding varieties to it to make it taste nicer. and ya. i was rather emotional when i was back at my joo chiat's hse. the time i spent there with just my family. my dad, my late mum, my sis n my bro. just us. how nice it was. o well. memories. i miss her. 6 mths eh. e first year in my life she's nt gonna wish me happy birthday. e first ever that she's not around to watch me grow a yr older.
and ya. i went for the briefing today. im gonna be just sitting up there and record the game. how wonderful. i think it's to be cool.
sometimes i just feel like screaming my heads off. just throw a huge tantrum. sigh. why?
i feel like strangling someone. wont mention names tho. just ya, i think you deserve a tight slap. urgh. bloody irritating. still the same as ever. forever thinking highly of ownself and thinking he/she can get away with everything. no matter how good a squirrel is at jumping, there will be one day it will fall onto the ground. just a thought. my late grandma fav phrase. in malay of course *smiles*
suddenly everything else and anything else doesn seem to matter.
i don't know what it means but somehow, i don't know. had my ups and downs during this time of week. been thinking alot. about friends. crudeness. family. my late mom. my future. my current state of mind is in a mess. i am there but not there. heh
been giving myself the space. i need to plan out what to do. i cant just go with the flow. its making me feel uncomfortable. tho i may not follow THE plan, i still need something to guide me thru.
im not thinking of anyone. hmmm. nope. nt at all. well maybe my late mum. quaker oats. i used to cook that for her everyday. to make her eat. cos she din like to eat anything else. how i tried adding varieties to it to make it taste nicer. and ya. i was rather emotional when i was back at my joo chiat's hse. the time i spent there with just my family. my dad, my late mum, my sis n my bro. just us. how nice it was. o well. memories. i miss her. 6 mths eh. e first year in my life she's nt gonna wish me happy birthday. e first ever that she's not around to watch me grow a yr older.
and ya. i went for the briefing today. im gonna be just sitting up there and record the game. how wonderful. i think it's to be cool.
sometimes i just feel like screaming my heads off. just throw a huge tantrum. sigh. why?
i feel like strangling someone. wont mention names tho. just ya, i think you deserve a tight slap. urgh. bloody irritating. still the same as ever. forever thinking highly of ownself and thinking he/she can get away with everything. no matter how good a squirrel is at jumping, there will be one day it will fall onto the ground. just a thought. my late grandma fav phrase. in malay of course *smiles*