hmmm had a nice talk wif my sis. if only everyday can b lyk this. juz reminiscing bt our younger days. nt dat we r very old. juz dat d times when my grandma n grandad n my mum was still alive.

i think my grandma brought me up well. nt dat im trying to say im an extremely good girl nw, juz dat watever i am now is bcos of her. she had this huge impact on my life. she taught me well, mayb it wasnt obvious but i learnt useful things bt life frm her. i've always looked up to her. her patience, her love for me, strong n silent yet soft, hw she raised 11 kids by herself. remembered i used to sit by her side n played wif her hair. talked 2 her till she fell aslp.hw everytime i wanna tie my hair, she wld do it 4 me. hw every morn b4 i went to skool she wld kissed me, my forehead n my cheeks. n den hugged me. i din really received dis kind of attention frm my mum but i nvr tot der was something missing in my life. my life den was pretty much filled wif love. only after she left i became D problematic child. lol yeah i was. i think me n my sis went thru shitty times together. well, when my mum was still arnd, at least i had someone to belif in, someone to stand up 4, someone 2 b der for. but i think, things changed. my sis n me belong to nowhere. nt dat im sad. im pretty much used to the way it is. im immuned to it. i tink my sis is nt yet. it takes time. nw u noe y i can b this angry, full of hatred girl. lol haf u seen dat side of me yet?nah. im protective of anyone dat i care for. very protective.really i am, i stand up 4 those i care for but im nt bias. heh i once kicked some guy in d face 4 making fun of my dad's name. i was juz a little kid den. im still fren wif dat guy tho. lol. u can try me if u want to. n erm this is nt some plot from some sadistic story eh. n all dat was 7-8 yrs ago? im a totally different person nw. *wide grin*

wat can i say, im still fortunate to haf uncs n aunts to care n support me n my sis n my bro. but my life's pretty mundane. i do envy ppl wif parents, living juz by demself. having parents to care 4 every little things. sick, money, clothes? heh im nt dat lucky i guess. probably dats y i haf this tons of emotions in me, probably dat's y i cried alot when i was younger. im juz a kid hu's a crybaby, full of emotions. lol even the teachers knew bt it. lol. but nevertheless im thankful 4 being alive. juz wanna thank my uncs n my aunts. if nt 4 dem, i wld probably b lying on streets, suffering from an uncured asthma, inhaling frm the inhaler every few hrs. hmm mayb i wldnt even haf enuff money to buy an inhaler cos i wld b begging. lol hw imaginative can i b. im juz feeling fortunate. mayb one day i can repay dem.

and!! im suppose to b doing report writing! hw i forgot abt dat thing. shit. submission is next wed. heh. n i dun even noe hw to fill it in. my hse version is so diff from the latest 1 i did in skool.i dunno, dun feel lyk doing it. n the test is 40%!! bah. n i haven prepare my presentation yet n chester wanna go out tmr. so i still dunno. been junking frm morning, ate milo, choco ice cream, fruits n nuts choco, fried hot dogs n yeah maggi mee.didn haf any a proper meal cos im juz lazy.
bah i miss dr yap. lyk looking at his face. so much calmness n serenity.he make me smile whenever i think of him. i tink he's d best doc plus dr gan. really cool. miss dem both. but i dun feel lyk going back to ttsh after my mum's death. dun really noe hw to face dem. i hate hospitals nw. urgh i think i shld b doing either my presentation or my rwp. both sux. bah. my entry been really long nowadays ar. sorry.