prism of us.

hmmm. i quote this from a book that im reading. just want to share it.

"I am, as we all are',...'an amalgam of characters, a paradigm of emotional tests and conflicts. So there is no one me, just as there is no one you. We're like prisms, with more sides and angles than we can imagine, and where the light catches the prism today determines who we are, and how we respond, today.'...'We all have a coexistence of anger and peace; love and hate; loyalty and deceit; depravity and morality. The capability of each is in us all, so if the issue is a crippled child, and the light catches pity, that is how we will respond. But it could equally catch indifference, or revulsion, because maybe the circumstances in our lives are such at that moment that we can't feel for another. So on any given day, we could have a totally different responses to any given situation. That doesnt change who we are, it merely illustrates our complexity."

hmmm, interesting right? just something i got from a fiction book. but it's interesting from the way how the writer of the book puts it. cant help but to agree. there is some truth there. that we cant control what we feel.

i think i've come close to painting my prism black. so that the light cant reflect anything. cos there were times i blocked out all the feelings. the keyword is blocked, meaning i refuse to feel that way. it hurts sometimes but what can i do to make myself feel better. or mayb at most of the time i feel indifferent. unless its a happy feeling.

confusion state. whatever i've decided to let go or forget, i really hope it remains in the past. but sometimes, there were moments when i suddenly thought of it or that someone. den i realised that its not that easy to let go.