so before i go missin and tired and everything, just a lil update,
happy belated bday aish. love ya. cant seem to reach out to u. hmm. anyway hugs.
cut my hair real short. in preparation for my trg. =D haha so im a wax gerl now.
am going in for my fire and rescue specialist on 3rd of oct. am a civil servant now. haha signed all the contract
ermm suzi, if ur reading this, my fren said abt the course u wanna take, take up the course in temasek poly. language doesn matter.
and im happy wif myself now. and ive got grt plans ahead for myself.
Monday, September 26, 2005
back. i guess.
i cant deny this. i hate changes. but i believe i can adapt.
just that changes changes everything. duh of cos. it makes ppl come in n out of ur life.
as much as i treasure them, i cant hold on to them, cos they have their own lifes.
true but sad. i wont let get this to me. but when i do think bt it. it does affect me.
as much as i want to spend my whole life with them, things will nvr go ur way. thus y i try nt to look forward wit dem in it. cos i noe if i do, im just preparing myself for disappointment. sad. really. im just a sad case person, wit no guts. maybe selfish?
hmmm. dun bother. just feel e nd to keep up wif my feelings.
ive changed alot. really. since the past few mths. and for the upcoming mths, im sure i will change alot. left wit a week more. just to chill out. before the 6mths trg. im getting the butterflies in tummy. haha yep. fire and rescue specialist. pray for me ya.
i cant deny this. i hate changes. but i believe i can adapt.
just that changes changes everything. duh of cos. it makes ppl come in n out of ur life.
as much as i treasure them, i cant hold on to them, cos they have their own lifes.
true but sad. i wont let get this to me. but when i do think bt it. it does affect me.
as much as i want to spend my whole life with them, things will nvr go ur way. thus y i try nt to look forward wit dem in it. cos i noe if i do, im just preparing myself for disappointment. sad. really. im just a sad case person, wit no guts. maybe selfish?
hmmm. dun bother. just feel e nd to keep up wif my feelings.
ive changed alot. really. since the past few mths. and for the upcoming mths, im sure i will change alot. left wit a week more. just to chill out. before the 6mths trg. im getting the butterflies in tummy. haha yep. fire and rescue specialist. pray for me ya.
Sunday, September 18, 2005
on 2nd tot. maybe i nt gonna delete this after all.
i may not update regularly. but just the need to say something to keep myself sane
and to indirectly announce im still alive. n kicking.
yeah. thats it.
too much of incoherent thoughts.
nth much to update really.
im feeling disgusted. at how things are. acceptance. things ppl do. ignorance.
i just hate the feeling. such feelings nvr failed to resurface.
the pretentious upfront of everything. how everything is just a made up. nothing is ever real anymore. its like looking something that is a translucent glass wall. you know what's going on behind that wall due to the shadows, but the fact that it is translucent sicken the tot. don't understand? doesn matter. bottom line is, mayb i shouldn say much. will just make you beware of me.
n the fact that we do get so caught up in our life, its just unforgiveable. i dunno why im babbling about this. it just gets to me. ppl gets to me. reality gets to me. maybe i want so much for everything to be right for everyone dat it kills me to see its not happening. maybe i shldnt bother so much. no one cares rite?
i had to go for jogging. hoping that maybe, the *endorphins wld ease the pain and eat up all those tots i had on my mind. it did i guess. it was just screaming out of my head slowly. den tots of hw to make myself feel better.maybe i deserve that lil pretty slip ons. i dunno. or maybe a haircut? after gg on for rounds, it just got numb. was just stoned. probably dats y i fell the other time. nth cld in or go out.
im just a numbed person. i have no feelings. indifference to anything. or maybe i MAKE myself numb to certain things. cos apparently i had enough emotions to tear up while reading some book. seems like a pretty long entry to me.
noe wat, don't let what ive mentioned above get to you. i think its just my lack of sleep and my excitement. lack of slp suh is a grumpy suh. i cant control what i say. not filtered. nt tactful. incoherency. im not saying that when im wide awake, whatever i say is fake. its still the truth but put in a nicer way of sentence structure. or words. wif no intention of hurting feelings. sorry
my dislikeness for guys has increased. somehow. am i opening up? cos im scaring myself.
hw i wish i can erase certain phase of my life. cos im pretty sure im nt fated to face it again.
*Any of a group of peptide hormones that bind to opiate receptors and are found mainly in the brain. Endorphins reduce the sensation of pain and affect emotions.
took this pic at NewSpace, thanks to booba new digicam.
lil things dat cheers me up. thks 2 u. =)
THE goreng pisang that i loveD. delicious. pisang tanduk. haha and the jemput2 also.=D
me n booba. o well. wasting our time during lunch. cos work sux n din want to waste it in the office.
noe wat. i tink dis may just be the last entry.
i may not update regularly. but just the need to say something to keep myself sane
and to indirectly announce im still alive. n kicking.
yeah. thats it.
too much of incoherent thoughts.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
bye i guess
been a awhile since the last i updated. been rather keeping to myself.nth much to update really.
im feeling disgusted. at how things are. acceptance. things ppl do. ignorance.
i just hate the feeling. such feelings nvr failed to resurface.
the pretentious upfront of everything. how everything is just a made up. nothing is ever real anymore. its like looking something that is a translucent glass wall. you know what's going on behind that wall due to the shadows, but the fact that it is translucent sicken the tot. don't understand? doesn matter. bottom line is, mayb i shouldn say much. will just make you beware of me.
n the fact that we do get so caught up in our life, its just unforgiveable. i dunno why im babbling about this. it just gets to me. ppl gets to me. reality gets to me. maybe i want so much for everything to be right for everyone dat it kills me to see its not happening. maybe i shldnt bother so much. no one cares rite?
i had to go for jogging. hoping that maybe, the *endorphins wld ease the pain and eat up all those tots i had on my mind. it did i guess. it was just screaming out of my head slowly. den tots of hw to make myself feel better.maybe i deserve that lil pretty slip ons. i dunno. or maybe a haircut? after gg on for rounds, it just got numb. was just stoned. probably dats y i fell the other time. nth cld in or go out.
im just a numbed person. i have no feelings. indifference to anything. or maybe i MAKE myself numb to certain things. cos apparently i had enough emotions to tear up while reading some book. seems like a pretty long entry to me.
noe wat, don't let what ive mentioned above get to you. i think its just my lack of sleep and my excitement. lack of slp suh is a grumpy suh. i cant control what i say. not filtered. nt tactful. incoherency. im not saying that when im wide awake, whatever i say is fake. its still the truth but put in a nicer way of sentence structure. or words. wif no intention of hurting feelings. sorry
my dislikeness for guys has increased. somehow. am i opening up? cos im scaring myself.
hw i wish i can erase certain phase of my life. cos im pretty sure im nt fated to face it again.
*Any of a group of peptide hormones that bind to opiate receptors and are found mainly in the brain. Endorphins reduce the sensation of pain and affect emotions.
took this pic at NewSpace, thanks to booba new digicam.
lil things dat cheers me up. thks 2 u. =)
THE goreng pisang that i loveD. delicious. pisang tanduk. haha and the jemput2 also.=D
me n booba. o well. wasting our time during lunch. cos work sux n din want to waste it in the office.
noe wat. i tink dis may just be the last entry.