been awhile...

been awhile since i last logged in, or shall i say blogged.

i haf to say there was nth much dat was worth mentioning or nth much been bothering me. and maybe for now there is something dats bothering. nt really sure why.

been thinking bt this for a long while, i wanna haf a taste of staying by myself/ solely me. i hate the idea of staying off ppl. namely bcos they dont like it either i believe. im not saying im having trouble at home. just dat it wld nice being independent. no one to bother about or be bothered abt. or maybe m better off dead. watever it is, m just rambling.

i hate feeling unnecessary things. there are time where i feel like sleeping my life off. which is i dont bother much bt wat ppl say, do or wats happening arnd me. i really think its a waste of time. and maybe m at the bottom of a pit rite now. feeling lost and confused.

work wise, things been gg well i believe. dun wanna rush into things. taking my time to learn everything again. politics, can bvr avoid. m trying to live with it. i hate the tots of betrayal and gossips and everything/ but sometimes i wld bear wit it. ppl sucking up gives me the shivers.

i dunno. im confused. abt lots of thing. maybe its just a phase. a period of time where i feel like shooting ppl dwn at watever is or were said. or did or do. feeling mean n evil. been controlling alot and i hate the feeling.

life is precious and short. dun wan to restrict myself to just settling down and haf kids. ( i hope thats not offensive to anyone, just my personal view)there is more to life den dat. i dun want to dedicate my life to just one person. its an evil thing to say. oh well. pains are avoidable. unnecessary feelings are avoidable. dun get me wrong. im having no problems with dee. sometimes, its the phase of wanting out. it'll go. one of those things i believe. greediness nvr breed good happenings or endings.