went out with 05/06 guys. had fun. still wacky as ever. if only aishah was arnd den it wld be a complete circle. for me at least. hmmm it was only a year ago. time flies really fast.
dee's birthday was on deepavali. celebrated it earlier on with just him and me. but i joined his family's celebration as well, baked him an oreo cheesecake. din haf much faith in the cake but it turned out just fine. thank god. well i enjoyed dat evening.
hmm and as for weiyin's bday, im sorry i missed it. happy belated bday to u.
hmm. ive lost touch in alot of things. my architecture skills. and etc... i think its time i relearn everything. my sis had dreams of my late mum crying, well ive not been a filial daughter. i should pray more... at least for her. and of cos. read entries on my aunt abt my grandma. yeah my grandma was an important figure in my life. she defined me who i am now.
i have plenty more to say... but wats der to share rite? its my tots, i just cant pen it down. well im working tmr...
i made mistakes. and i realised that no matter how many sorrys i say and no matter how many times the other party says its okay, things cant just be the same. words were said, feelings were hurt, its irreversible. and u think to urself. why are things so complicated. its impossible to be free with wat u say, to be democratic and to be liberal. you watch wat u say to be democratic or liberal, to appear them... hmmm...and den ur not urself.
Saturday, October 14, 2006
afternoon spore!!
just got back from work. cant sleep. well more like i dun wan to waste my day sleeping. i have plans today to indulge myself. later maybe.
hmmm had a pretty tough time at work yest. i cant stress more how much i dislike this person. everything bt dat person. god save me. do u noe how i feel? i feel like a clown. putting up a mask just to put up with some ppl. smiley on the outside, but inside its crumbling. sigh
true to wat some ppl said, be patient. bear with it. well i am now...
hmmm trying my luck with cheese swirl brownie. ve got the mood to be the ms kitchen today.
*does a curtsy with a twirl* well, i haf to go and get some stuffs later and run some errand. and to wyna, well if ur reading, im super sorry i cldnt make it for ur bday party yest. mayb this is one of the factors dat affected me yest nite.
oh congrat me pls. *grin* im a full pledged paracounsellor. the course brought back memories. feelings dat were meant to be kept. it made me think bt my mum. well, i acted a role dat suit well to d feelings dat i had. i reread my pass entries of 2 yrs ago. yeah. lot had change. 2 years seems a long time. but yet i cant seem to forgive myself for the things i didn do. guilt ridden. still cant forget the pain. u can only wonder y.
hmmm anyway m excited bt the upcoming events. its 14th today. just realised im lost in my own world. lost track of time.
just got back from work. cant sleep. well more like i dun wan to waste my day sleeping. i have plans today to indulge myself. later maybe.
hmmm had a pretty tough time at work yest. i cant stress more how much i dislike this person. everything bt dat person. god save me. do u noe how i feel? i feel like a clown. putting up a mask just to put up with some ppl. smiley on the outside, but inside its crumbling. sigh
true to wat some ppl said, be patient. bear with it. well i am now...
hmmm trying my luck with cheese swirl brownie. ve got the mood to be the ms kitchen today.
*does a curtsy with a twirl* well, i haf to go and get some stuffs later and run some errand. and to wyna, well if ur reading, im super sorry i cldnt make it for ur bday party yest. mayb this is one of the factors dat affected me yest nite.
oh congrat me pls. *grin* im a full pledged paracounsellor. the course brought back memories. feelings dat were meant to be kept. it made me think bt my mum. well, i acted a role dat suit well to d feelings dat i had. i reread my pass entries of 2 yrs ago. yeah. lot had change. 2 years seems a long time. but yet i cant seem to forgive myself for the things i didn do. guilt ridden. still cant forget the pain. u can only wonder y.
hmmm anyway m excited bt the upcoming events. its 14th today. just realised im lost in my own world. lost track of time.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
hey hey im back. hmmm anyway im undergg a one-wk course for paracounsellor. something meaningful i hope.
im happy. somehow. u noe, ive met nice ppl during this course. cheerful n happy ppl. their experiences. their knowledge.
but u noe der r drastic changes going on rite now. im feeling rather withdrawn. my two pillars r gonna get transferred out of stn. i feel like screaming crying jumping, y happen now? but this is inevitable. it had to happen sooner or later. im trying to adapt to that idea. adapting to a new drc. a DART drc. goodness. n i haf to work doubly hard now to get to where i am nw with the new drc. its tough nw dat i wld be the only lady in the fire stn. drastic. sigh.
i dun tink ive mentioned much bt mr police officer. is nt dat i aint into him. rather i appreciate him arnd me, my companion dat he is assuring himself. times when we had our lil disagreements but i swear to myself, i wldn want it any other way. he's my bestfren, my partner n my someone special too. he soothes me unknowingly. he is my private counsellor, unknowingly too.
and for thousand more of reasons i appreciate him for hu he is...
im happy. somehow. u noe, ive met nice ppl during this course. cheerful n happy ppl. their experiences. their knowledge.
but u noe der r drastic changes going on rite now. im feeling rather withdrawn. my two pillars r gonna get transferred out of stn. i feel like screaming crying jumping, y happen now? but this is inevitable. it had to happen sooner or later. im trying to adapt to that idea. adapting to a new drc. a DART drc. goodness. n i haf to work doubly hard now to get to where i am nw with the new drc. its tough nw dat i wld be the only lady in the fire stn. drastic. sigh.
i dun tink ive mentioned much bt mr police officer. is nt dat i aint into him. rather i appreciate him arnd me, my companion dat he is assuring himself. times when we had our lil disagreements but i swear to myself, i wldn want it any other way. he's my bestfren, my partner n my someone special too. he soothes me unknowingly. he is my private counsellor, unknowingly too.
and for thousand more of reasons i appreciate him for hu he is...