hey, another chapter bout me eh. dun bother reading.
you know what, i don't know what my sis was thinking bout when she switched off the light and she's not even in the room.hehwent to ikea on sat with my family. shopping i guess. my uncle bought for me this raspberry scented tea light candles. sweet. and then went to east coast lagoon to have dinner. shiok. really. haha good food again. 3 days consecutively. cos i had satay and again good food today. tell me again why wont i get fat? cos im definitely looking at fatsuh in the mirror. my loved ones just keeps on feeding me.
i had alot of issues that i thought about on my way from punggol to queenstown. damn it was really a long journey. firstly there is this "illnes" that my dad has. neurofibromatosis. birth disorder. and its hereditary. and sadly there isnt any treatment for it. its a miracle that im able to enter poly or even study. its just sad and worrying. makes my future rather bleak.
and so we were at the ikea. walking arnd, looking at stuffs. and then i saw this girl. the moment she saw my dad, she went running to her mum. avoiding my dad at all cost as tho he's has a deadly disease. i was so hurt. i felt like slapping the girl's face. that's my dad that she was reacting to. and he's a human with feelings with complete body features. so he definitely didn deserve that. and the most irritating part was that, the mother was protecting the kid like a mother hen. i mean, wth? my dad is not a monster lah. and the fact that its hereditary, means i have 50% chances of getting it. the bump in my face is rather worrying and so what if it happens to me in the future? what? are you guys going to abandon me? or will be jobless? be the butt of joke? apparently i tink my bro haf NF1 sypmtoms. the pigments and difficulties in studying. and it can affect nerve systems which includes the brain. i think i haf enough of cubaan that's being put on us. but then again, mayb there will be a blessing in diguise. i suspect that my dad's frequent complains of back pain and tummy pain has got to do with neurofibromatosis. im worried. i guess, being with me comes with a heavy responsibilities. i rather be an andatu. o well. bless those who were born perfect. i think this plays a part in the anger that's building within me. like why my dad and my late mum? when they are already less perfect? who i am to question God's will. but to accept whatever fate we were given and to learn from it. i think its time i really shld go for a check up and im going tmr. pray hard for me ya.
arh. this thing been bugging me for days.
on a happier note. i've grinned too much today till my jaws ache. thanks.
i don't want to think abt unnecessary stuffs. im strong wat. just that at times, i nd to let it out. heh.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
hmmmm. its weird. when all you can think about is that particular person. just how good you felt when you r near that person or just talking to that person. i've tried so hard to make myself stop thinking bt that particular person, but it keeps coming back. i don't know. i don't want to get involved in emotional turmoils. but when i said i really cant stop thinking, i really mean it. how?
and no matter how busy you are, you will always make time for your loved ones. if you love that person, its nvr too much to take sometime off, even a few secs to express it. if you think you are too busy for it, then your heart wasn there is the first place. i think.
and im gonna make myself stop thinking bout you tmr. period. i cant stand the agony.
today was a day full of testing my limits.
testing my will power, my mental and physical strngth. haha it was damn tiring.
i had great fod thanks to sabariah abdul rashid and her family. really. superb. every single thing.
and the grt company too. love the day. muacks.
and no matter how busy you are, you will always make time for your loved ones. if you love that person, its nvr too much to take sometime off, even a few secs to express it. if you think you are too busy for it, then your heart wasn there is the first place. i think.
and im gonna make myself stop thinking bout you tmr. period. i cant stand the agony.
today was a day full of testing my limits.
testing my will power, my mental and physical strngth. haha it was damn tiring.
i had great fod thanks to sabariah abdul rashid and her family. really. superb. every single thing.
and the grt company too. love the day. muacks.
Friday, March 25, 2005
i tink i rather distanced myself away from ppl. i think i need the time break. from everything. just dedicate it to myself. been rather "busy" this week. think i'll start gg out next week. hmmm?
had the interview today. it was okay i think . i dun wanna say much. i think 5 years bond is abit too much. 5 bloody years? im a rather impatient person, i think. i don't know. i have alot of things to consider. REALLY alot. and make it fickle minded. im still gonna apply for paramedic or ers.
it's funny how someone can be your close fren and yet not talk for a couple of weeks?
really i do miss those times. exams period? busy with projects. im too free lah maybe. soon. i hope it'll be over soon cos i cant wait for that 3 bloody weeks to end. argh really, waiting for this week to be over is already torturous. trainingssssssss...
i try my best not to be judgemental. hmm. sometimes i pity myself, cos i have to painstakingly read blogs to update myself on my fren's life. that's how pathetic ive gotten. that i din make time or bother talking to them. make an effort suh. yep yep.
ive this hereditary thingy problem. hmm it made me think alot ar. bout my future. commitments. o well. to assume, ease our mind. its kinda true rite fiza?
and im afraid to look forward. arh. eh i wanna be low profile. heh.
had the interview today. it was okay i think . i dun wanna say much. i think 5 years bond is abit too much. 5 bloody years? im a rather impatient person, i think. i don't know. i have alot of things to consider. REALLY alot. and make it fickle minded. im still gonna apply for paramedic or ers.
it's funny how someone can be your close fren and yet not talk for a couple of weeks?
really i do miss those times. exams period? busy with projects. im too free lah maybe. soon. i hope it'll be over soon cos i cant wait for that 3 bloody weeks to end. argh really, waiting for this week to be over is already torturous. trainingssssssss...
i try my best not to be judgemental. hmm. sometimes i pity myself, cos i have to painstakingly read blogs to update myself on my fren's life. that's how pathetic ive gotten. that i din make time or bother talking to them. make an effort suh. yep yep.
ive this hereditary thingy problem. hmm it made me think alot ar. bout my future. commitments. o well. to assume, ease our mind. its kinda true rite fiza?
and im afraid to look forward. arh. eh i wanna be low profile. heh.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
ive decided to scrap that interior architecture degree shit. erm. or mayb not. it depends in future.
went out with fiza and aish to town. my darls. heh. had fun ar. especially shopping for the bag part. haha o well. some ppl got bf wat. *rolls eyes* haha
and den went with sab and steff for the SIA talk. wah, the stewardess damn chio. haha really. frigging chio, well groomed. sia did a grt job in grooming them. haha but being a an air stewardess is definitely not easy. am not interested. im bound for more meaningful things. lol. but to be an air stewardess is definitely a well rewarded job. if u do get selected dat's it.
and then had dinner with sab. and ya.
i wanna keep it simple. i dun wanna reveal too much. i hate guys checking girls out. from head to toe. really i do. it freaks me out. i haf a perfect example in my class (ex). gross.
and ya. interview with NIE tmr. heh. lots of luck ya?
and i had csw interview today. haha. i tot it went well lah. but i dunno. u can nvr know with a lecturer like mine. hmmm.
went out with fiza and aish to town. my darls. heh. had fun ar. especially shopping for the bag part. haha o well. some ppl got bf wat. *rolls eyes* haha
and den went with sab and steff for the SIA talk. wah, the stewardess damn chio. haha really. frigging chio, well groomed. sia did a grt job in grooming them. haha but being a an air stewardess is definitely not easy. am not interested. im bound for more meaningful things. lol. but to be an air stewardess is definitely a well rewarded job. if u do get selected dat's it.
and then had dinner with sab. and ya.
i wanna keep it simple. i dun wanna reveal too much. i hate guys checking girls out. from head to toe. really i do. it freaks me out. i haf a perfect example in my class (ex). gross.
and ya. interview with NIE tmr. heh. lots of luck ya?
and i had csw interview today. haha. i tot it went well lah. but i dunno. u can nvr know with a lecturer like mine. hmmm.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
its starting to sink in. that i wont be seeing my classmates again after 7 april.
i've been in denial all the time.
remember the first i had lunch at fc 1, remember seeing nasir. n i swore i tot he was chinese. with his flowery shirt and his specs. well until he opened his mouth. bt him can passing off as a chinese and eat during fasting mths. heh
and then i remember the time where i saw fiza, with her tudung during the orientation time. and then i wasnt really into malay clan, pardon me. haha. but yeah. all was good. and the time in the studio. the bala thingy. it was just memorable. and now w5a is just gonna be part of my history.
and aishah! her time with me on the field. and the factory work. heh. i just love these two babes very much. and arh lunch will nvr be the same again. bleh. o well.
i've been in denial all the time.
remember the first i had lunch at fc 1, remember seeing nasir. n i swore i tot he was chinese. with his flowery shirt and his specs. well until he opened his mouth. bt him can passing off as a chinese and eat during fasting mths. heh
and then i remember the time where i saw fiza, with her tudung during the orientation time. and then i wasnt really into malay clan, pardon me. haha. but yeah. all was good. and the time in the studio. the bala thingy. it was just memorable. and now w5a is just gonna be part of my history.
and aishah! her time with me on the field. and the factory work. heh. i just love these two babes very much. and arh lunch will nvr be the same again. bleh. o well.
Monday, March 21, 2005
okiez. what a day. lucky you called me. to reconfirm.
its just a small matter eh?
and i can be whoever i want to be without feeling guilty.
just feel lazy to get out of the house. cancelled whatever plans i had cos i don't feel like going out.
my concenssion for this mth is over. and i don't wan 2 burden my unc with more money problems at the moment. think he's having a hard time. im just scared to ask. so just gonna bear with it at the moment.
am looking for brushes. nice ones tho. wanna experiment with the photoshop. cool ar.
was just thinking. how weird things are. heh. i think its best just not to let it out. best to put it aside. and not think about it.
my room is clean and neat. *beams* haha yep. i like it this way.
and now i haf the time to enjoy my comic ya. naruto. shiok. lol and the book. yes vic, i haven finish reading it.
i've said before i wan to go to the beach and just sit down and relax. and enjoy the breeze. any takers? heh
tues is my presentation day, im dreading that day. really.
o well. i've not much comments about life, bout ppl. don't feel like getting bothered about it.
oh my mandarin class. did i say anything about it? it was good. i've learnt how to say duoshao qian correctly. the beijing way. *rolls eyes* but ya. learnt all the different tones. its quite true tho bout what the teacher said. about singaporean's mandarin. no offence ar. the pronounciation is very different. and the classmates are good. i guess. i hope it'll get better.
hmm, its weird you know, when u least expect it to happen and it happens, it just leaves you dumbfounded and delighted. i've had alot of weird incidents. think im too caught in my own world, that when something out of blue happens, it just shock me.
before my last submission, i had tons of work to be done and now it feels rather weird. i have nth to do now. no work. zilch. yep. and its making me feel lost. all i do now is just stone and stone and stone. bored. i dun even feel like shopping or playing touch or my appetite is not there. the good food at railway or the chocolates or the snicker jam cant even tempt me to eat. aimless. it seems to be happening to my bro too. he's aimless. don't want to eat. dun want to do anything. wassup?
probably a good shower will make me feel better. and continue with the blog thingy.
Beach Boys
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
zoned out.
its just a small matter eh?
and i can be whoever i want to be without feeling guilty.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
wouldnt it be nice.
been slacking at home the whole.just feel lazy to get out of the house. cancelled whatever plans i had cos i don't feel like going out.
my concenssion for this mth is over. and i don't wan 2 burden my unc with more money problems at the moment. think he's having a hard time. im just scared to ask. so just gonna bear with it at the moment.
am looking for brushes. nice ones tho. wanna experiment with the photoshop. cool ar.
was just thinking. how weird things are. heh. i think its best just not to let it out. best to put it aside. and not think about it.
my room is clean and neat. *beams* haha yep. i like it this way.
and now i haf the time to enjoy my comic ya. naruto. shiok. lol and the book. yes vic, i haven finish reading it.
i've said before i wan to go to the beach and just sit down and relax. and enjoy the breeze. any takers? heh
tues is my presentation day, im dreading that day. really.
o well. i've not much comments about life, bout ppl. don't feel like getting bothered about it.
oh my mandarin class. did i say anything about it? it was good. i've learnt how to say duoshao qian correctly. the beijing way. *rolls eyes* but ya. learnt all the different tones. its quite true tho bout what the teacher said. about singaporean's mandarin. no offence ar. the pronounciation is very different. and the classmates are good. i guess. i hope it'll get better.
hmm, its weird you know, when u least expect it to happen and it happens, it just leaves you dumbfounded and delighted. i've had alot of weird incidents. think im too caught in my own world, that when something out of blue happens, it just shock me.
before my last submission, i had tons of work to be done and now it feels rather weird. i have nth to do now. no work. zilch. yep. and its making me feel lost. all i do now is just stone and stone and stone. bored. i dun even feel like shopping or playing touch or my appetite is not there. the good food at railway or the chocolates or the snicker jam cant even tempt me to eat. aimless. it seems to be happening to my bro too. he's aimless. don't want to eat. dun want to do anything. wassup?
probably a good shower will make me feel better. and continue with the blog thingy.
Beach Boys
Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
zoned out.
Saturday, March 19, 2005
heh heh heh
im a master of manipulation. to manipulate myself that's it. to change my way of thinking abt certain guys.
eh sometimes guys can really drive me mad. dun ask y. i haf my reasons.
and im certainly not in lurpe. yes sab. not at all.
and im super bored. cos i dont haf work to do. i've yet to plan my days.
friday night is out of qn, well til oct. and sun morn. tuition. you know i plan to go for blacks trg cos i cant go for lionred's trg. can i?
arh im super sad. cos im out of skool. heh.
im a master of manipulation. to manipulate myself that's it. to change my way of thinking abt certain guys.
eh sometimes guys can really drive me mad. dun ask y. i haf my reasons.
and im certainly not in lurpe. yes sab. not at all.
and im super bored. cos i dont haf work to do. i've yet to plan my days.
friday night is out of qn, well til oct. and sun morn. tuition. you know i plan to go for blacks trg cos i cant go for lionred's trg. can i?
arh im super sad. cos im out of skool. heh.
hmmm. had a series of bad things happenening to me today. lucky day ya.
and im super tired. very.
in the midst of this dragginess. i cant help but wonder. wat's up with guys? one moment they'll flirt wif u like nobody business and one moment they are talking bt nt being able to commit or cant forget their ex ar. wat shit.
and today is my last day of skool. i was pretty upset bt it. i mean. no more coming to a noisy class. no more arguing with malik n nasir. oh btw sab, malik cut his hair already and he looks pretty good. and i'll miss the class,, the smell of it. lunching together. its just miss-able. i dunno. im depressed.
and im super tired. very.
in the midst of this dragginess. i cant help but wonder. wat's up with guys? one moment they'll flirt wif u like nobody business and one moment they are talking bt nt being able to commit or cant forget their ex ar. wat shit.
and today is my last day of skool. i was pretty upset bt it. i mean. no more coming to a noisy class. no more arguing with malik n nasir. oh btw sab, malik cut his hair already and he looks pretty good. and i'll miss the class,, the smell of it. lunching together. its just miss-able. i dunno. im depressed.
Friday, March 18, 2005
okay here i am at sab's place. yep. her place. the plan was to go fiza's hse but yah change of plan since i dun wanna touch my work no more and yah. so there you go.
i am confused. really. with my feelings. anyway submission is tmr! and the feeling is rather overwhelming. its like officially ending skool. and i feel sad cos i cldn spend more time with the angels. and my classmates cos i was too busy doing my project. sad lah but wat to do. life has to move on rite?
can i be heartless and not feel for anyone?
can i be cold hearted?
i wonder how it feels to be in that position.
must haf had gone thru tremendous hurtful experiences that you grow numb to feelings and emotions. like what's new?
fiza & aish, i gonna miss you guys alot. really. love ya very much.
and HAPPY 20th birthday norhafizah bte azmi! i got it right ?? muackss
a song for everyone. heh
Human Behaviour - Bjork
if you ever get close to a human
and human behaviour
be ready to get confused
there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour
but yet so irresistible
there's no map
to human behaviour
they're terribly moody
then all of a sudden turn happy
but, oh, to get involved in the exchange
of human emotions is ever so satisfying
and there is no map
and a compass
wouldn't help at all
human behaviour
i am confused. really. with my feelings. anyway submission is tmr! and the feeling is rather overwhelming. its like officially ending skool. and i feel sad cos i cldn spend more time with the angels. and my classmates cos i was too busy doing my project. sad lah but wat to do. life has to move on rite?
can i be heartless and not feel for anyone?
can i be cold hearted?
i wonder how it feels to be in that position.
must haf had gone thru tremendous hurtful experiences that you grow numb to feelings and emotions. like what's new?
fiza & aish, i gonna miss you guys alot. really. love ya very much.
and HAPPY 20th birthday norhafizah bte azmi! i got it right ?? muackss
a song for everyone. heh
Human Behaviour - Bjork
if you ever get close to a human
and human behaviour
be ready to get confused
there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour
but yet so irresistible
there's no map
to human behaviour
they're terribly moody
then all of a sudden turn happy
but, oh, to get involved in the exchange
of human emotions is ever so satisfying
and there is no map
and a compass
wouldn't help at all
human behaviour
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
i dunno hw many times i want to wish you but just before it turns midnight,
happy 19th birthday candy soh shia leng. :)
i feel purplish today. heh my mind is not with me, hmm more like im numb. stoned.
*chants* i must not slp*chants* heh
arh tido. k ciaoz. back 2 my work.
happy 19th birthday candy soh shia leng. :)
i feel purplish today. heh my mind is not with me, hmm more like im numb. stoned.
*chants* i must not slp*chants* heh
arh tido. k ciaoz. back 2 my work.
Monday, March 14, 2005
today is mon, fri is my submission.
hmmmmm my weekends left me feeling weird.
first it was saturday. the day itself was weird. whatever happened there and then left me feeling rather shocked. it was just a tiny gesture. but it felt natural. but it shocked me real bad. urgh left me feeling weird.
and den came sunday. had tuition-ing but i was late. damn. i haven gotten use to that system yet. and den had a "long" talk with liza on bus. it was nice. bout our future. what we gonna do. and then i went to work. it was at this chapel. it was all beautiful. the roses. the settings. the atmosphere. the photos of the bride & groom. it was just pretty, the feeling of sharing their big day. tho im not related. but it was nice. love is in the air ya. and somehow that stir something in me.
and dun worry daph, i made new friends. haha they were funny lah. shall fill you in more. i look like an indian or a blackie chinese girl. wth. and apparently i look like 17 yrs old girl *grin* awwww i look so young. heh heh heh
i really adore guys with abit of botakness and those with goatee sia. dey r just hot. i cnt help it lah. thinking of them makes my heart melt. and i haf a fren who exactly fit that bill. o well. but im nt into him. he's just nice to look at.
hmmmmm my weekends left me feeling weird.
first it was saturday. the day itself was weird. whatever happened there and then left me feeling rather shocked. it was just a tiny gesture. but it felt natural. but it shocked me real bad. urgh left me feeling weird.
and den came sunday. had tuition-ing but i was late. damn. i haven gotten use to that system yet. and den had a "long" talk with liza on bus. it was nice. bout our future. what we gonna do. and then i went to work. it was at this chapel. it was all beautiful. the roses. the settings. the atmosphere. the photos of the bride & groom. it was just pretty, the feeling of sharing their big day. tho im not related. but it was nice. love is in the air ya. and somehow that stir something in me.
and dun worry daph, i made new friends. haha they were funny lah. shall fill you in more. i look like an indian or a blackie chinese girl. wth. and apparently i look like 17 yrs old girl *grin* awwww i look so young. heh heh heh
i really adore guys with abit of botakness and those with goatee sia. dey r just hot. i cnt help it lah. thinking of them makes my heart melt. and i haf a fren who exactly fit that bill. o well. but im nt into him. he's just nice to look at.
Sunday, March 13, 2005
the play was good. the actresses was convincing that i thoought i had a crush on one of them. acting as a butch/lesbian. it was funny. it was enjoyable. im tired. i need a rest. full day tmr ya.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
i dun understand.
why do i have to tolerate your tantrums?
why must you argue with me?
why must you bring chester in the picture?
why cant you stay away from the comp just for 5 more days?
why must you grumble?
do you know that, there were so many times i held back my tears.
cos i cldn't get any co-operation from you.
that i will end up with nothing if i don't get any support?
that i felt downright helpless?
that i'm having a difficult time trying to juggle everything?
just all because you need to chat with your friends oversea who you just made friends with?
just because you failed to understand my situations?
just because you don't understand i have other commitments?
and because of that, i am going to fail my work?
and do you know that i cried when i was told that cik sah drmt of our late mum?
and that she told me that it must be because we've been bad. been doing stuffs that she wldnt approve of. it seems true enough. that our late mum had to appear in our aunt's drm to send a message across. cos all you want to do is show me your black face and unhappiness. how bout mine? do i have to tolerate yours just because my submissin is here? do i have to go and seek it from someone else and not from you?
please, i beg you. just let me use the comp for 5 more days. i wont give a phuck about this comp after my submission cos i have a LIFE.
i don't really know how im gonna cope. i need miracle. its really different now.
why do i have to tolerate your tantrums?
why must you argue with me?
why must you bring chester in the picture?
why cant you stay away from the comp just for 5 more days?
why must you grumble?
do you know that, there were so many times i held back my tears.
cos i cldn't get any co-operation from you.
that i will end up with nothing if i don't get any support?
that i felt downright helpless?
that i'm having a difficult time trying to juggle everything?
just all because you need to chat with your friends oversea who you just made friends with?
just because you failed to understand my situations?
just because you don't understand i have other commitments?
and because of that, i am going to fail my work?
and do you know that i cried when i was told that cik sah drmt of our late mum?
and that she told me that it must be because we've been bad. been doing stuffs that she wldnt approve of. it seems true enough. that our late mum had to appear in our aunt's drm to send a message across. cos all you want to do is show me your black face and unhappiness. how bout mine? do i have to tolerate yours just because my submissin is here? do i have to go and seek it from someone else and not from you?
please, i beg you. just let me use the comp for 5 more days. i wont give a phuck about this comp after my submission cos i have a LIFE.
i don't really know how im gonna cope. i need miracle. its really different now.
Friday, March 11, 2005
arh. taking a break. im really really tired. more grueling days to come. and oh shit i forgot abt this sat. naz said got game. hmmmrppppp. how?
hmmm im confused. abt alot of stuffs. bt my feelings. hmmmmmmmm. wat do i want?
problem with me is that, i get tired of things easily. thus don't make me wait for too long. its of no surprise, dat i lost interest. yah lah. im mean. i just feel guilty. but another problem is that, it keeps re-occuring. commitment-phobia. just toying with the idea but nvr really get close enough to commit. cos i back off whenever something happens. wonder wassup with "joey". prolly i got tired of giving.
i nd someone special. i prolly noe hu the person is. but same problem as mine. too many other commitments. afraid to commit. hah. k im crapping. the after effect of coffee. too high.
im bored lah. dun feel like doing work anymore. i wanna take a break.
hmmm im confused. abt alot of stuffs. bt my feelings. hmmmmmmmm. wat do i want?
problem with me is that, i get tired of things easily. thus don't make me wait for too long. its of no surprise, dat i lost interest. yah lah. im mean. i just feel guilty. but another problem is that, it keeps re-occuring. commitment-phobia. just toying with the idea but nvr really get close enough to commit. cos i back off whenever something happens. wonder wassup with "joey". prolly i got tired of giving.
i nd someone special. i prolly noe hu the person is. but same problem as mine. too many other commitments. afraid to commit. hah. k im crapping. the after effect of coffee. too high.
im bored lah. dun feel like doing work anymore. i wanna take a break.
I'll Stand By You
by Girls Aloud
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you’re wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when…
When the night falls on you baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
to my dearies. yesh. you. *nods*
im weird. duno y.
by Girls Aloud
Oh, why you look so sad?
Tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Cause I've seen the dark side too
When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
So if you're mad, get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well I'm a lot like you
When you're standing at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
Cause even if you’re wrong
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
And when…
When the night falls on you baby
You're feeling all alone
You won't be on your own
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in, into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
to my dearies. yesh. you. *nods*
im weird. duno y.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
arh. i want micro zen i wan micro zen i wan micro zen. boo hoo hoo. aish got it and im so jealous. nafsu nafsu nafsu. hahaha arh tido. im jealous. and i armed myself with a jug of coffee. haha hope can stay awake till tmr morn. heh.
was looking at this First Degree issue, saw the scholarships that they provided. Seems to cater more for those with A-level certs. and i think im fickle minded. after reading what they said,im confuse with what i want. and after some talk i had with my fren it seems worthless to pursue an interior architecture degree. i mean, if i am to take the course, i will be just paying for the degree. i have interest in designing. yes only that. i want to do something that have no constraints. i wanna be free. but sadly. singapore system sucks.time is money. rite amb?
anyway was doing my work and i happened to be reading rina's blog. then the cute wizard came out. haha i tot it was from the program that im using and it was demanding $1000. like wth? haha question mark, den i realised orh must be rina's blog. lol. so cute. heh
had netball tournie yest. sadly we lost. but it was a grt game. i had nvr played netball before in my entire life. i learnt there and then. it was fun. it i ever thought of switching interest, netball will be next on the list. *rolls eyes* haha rite. but ya. it was fun. and den i rushed to PS. bloody hell. the bloody phucking bus was damn long ar. frigging hell. made me pissed. and i missed daph's cutting her cake. pffft!!! and i read daph's blog and i almost teared reading her blog. haha emo emo. daph, ur super special to me okay. im so sorry cldnt be there on time.
sitting here alone, listening to my lecturer made me realise how much things ive got to do and its scaring the hell out of me. arh. i've got a date with my lecturer tmr afternoon. maybe i shld think twice bout that recce. hmmm
you know i've realised that. that there were times where i may be just sitting beside you, laughing my heads off and joking with you but deep down i realised that i don't even know the real you. hmm i feel rather distant. its like when i read the blogs entries, i just feel like im an just an acquaintance. i feel lost reading them. i so much want to know you better. heh. this you can anyone. im not referring to a certain person or what. i just feel that there are alot of masks. or maybe its just me ar? din make an effort to know better.or mayb ppl are reserving their rights. privacy? but den y blog? hmmm. just a thought. am i right or wrong? i sound so mdm zainon. heh
thoughts thoughts.
hmmm. im trying to do my work. practically alone in the class that i just feel like going home any momemnt. or mayb slack at fiza's hse. just a tot. yah ah. can still slack ar. arh but. no one arnd!!! shld haf just stayed at home. hmmrp. i cld haf slp more. im so lethargic. tues-trg, wed-netball n today trg again!! arh duno lah. over exhausting myself.was looking at this First Degree issue, saw the scholarships that they provided. Seems to cater more for those with A-level certs. and i think im fickle minded. after reading what they said,im confuse with what i want. and after some talk i had with my fren it seems worthless to pursue an interior architecture degree. i mean, if i am to take the course, i will be just paying for the degree. i have interest in designing. yes only that. i want to do something that have no constraints. i wanna be free. but sadly. singapore system sucks.time is money. rite amb?
anyway was doing my work and i happened to be reading rina's blog. then the cute wizard came out. haha i tot it was from the program that im using and it was demanding $1000. like wth? haha question mark, den i realised orh must be rina's blog. lol. so cute. heh
had netball tournie yest. sadly we lost. but it was a grt game. i had nvr played netball before in my entire life. i learnt there and then. it was fun. it i ever thought of switching interest, netball will be next on the list. *rolls eyes* haha rite. but ya. it was fun. and den i rushed to PS. bloody hell. the bloody phucking bus was damn long ar. frigging hell. made me pissed. and i missed daph's cutting her cake. pffft!!! and i read daph's blog and i almost teared reading her blog. haha emo emo. daph, ur super special to me okay. im so sorry cldnt be there on time.
sitting here alone, listening to my lecturer made me realise how much things ive got to do and its scaring the hell out of me. arh. i've got a date with my lecturer tmr afternoon. maybe i shld think twice bout that recce. hmmm
you know i've realised that. that there were times where i may be just sitting beside you, laughing my heads off and joking with you but deep down i realised that i don't even know the real you. hmm i feel rather distant. its like when i read the blogs entries, i just feel like im an just an acquaintance. i feel lost reading them. i so much want to know you better. heh. this you can anyone. im not referring to a certain person or what. i just feel that there are alot of masks. or maybe its just me ar? din make an effort to know better.or mayb ppl are reserving their rights. privacy? but den y blog? hmmm. just a thought. am i right or wrong? i sound so mdm zainon. heh
Wednesday, March 09, 2005
happy birthday daphne. *smiles* muacks.
y am i feeling downright low? issit bcos of the nearing submission deadline?
i feel rather inadequate.i need some time to myself, to evaluate wat's happening to me. but then again i think im just thinking too much. o well, everytime i starts to feel low, i just tot of the stuffs that makes me whole-r. at least i starts to feel better. i haf to erase all those negative thoughts. yep yep yep.
y am i feeling downright low? issit bcos of the nearing submission deadline?
i feel rather inadequate.i need some time to myself, to evaluate wat's happening to me. but then again i think im just thinking too much. o well, everytime i starts to feel low, i just tot of the stuffs that makes me whole-r. at least i starts to feel better. i haf to erase all those negative thoughts. yep yep yep.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
y do we always hurt those that we care for most? without realising it?
i love cows print. thanks dear. muacks. appreciate it alot.
self pity is self condemn.
hmmm. pretentious. contradictions. arh i want to slp already. slping always makes me feel better.
i love cows print. thanks dear. muacks. appreciate it alot.
self pity is self condemn.
hmmm. pretentious. contradictions. arh i want to slp already. slping always makes me feel better.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
haha 5th march. wonder y it seems so significant.
took a short nap, think suffering from heat stroke. my eyes are red. me having a block nose. damn sian.
had a weird drm again. drm of sab and some ppl again, i think i drmt i blew up,and den i cried. n den i was inside this building. the scene always seems familiar. got Burger King, got lots of escalator, den got alot of colourful lights.den got this mad guy keep chasing after me and i was carrying this little girl( i saw her in the lrt and she din like my face cos she just kept on crying till her dad change her position). the mad man was chasing after the girl actually. arh tido. dunno y lah. running too much from problems maybe.
i tink ar. sp angels r super slack compared to club level. no impact when we r running. no effort. mayb what nazhan said its true ar. we r just plain lazy and yet we wanted to win. wat's history is history.
i feel better after venting it out here. so dont think much of my entries rite.
im stuck inbetween reality and dream/fantasy. keep mixing them up.
took a short nap, think suffering from heat stroke. my eyes are red. me having a block nose. damn sian.
had a weird drm again. drm of sab and some ppl again, i think i drmt i blew up,and den i cried. n den i was inside this building. the scene always seems familiar. got Burger King, got lots of escalator, den got alot of colourful lights.den got this mad guy keep chasing after me and i was carrying this little girl( i saw her in the lrt and she din like my face cos she just kept on crying till her dad change her position). the mad man was chasing after the girl actually. arh tido. dunno y lah. running too much from problems maybe.
i tink ar. sp angels r super slack compared to club level. no impact when we r running. no effort. mayb what nazhan said its true ar. we r just plain lazy and yet we wanted to win. wat's history is history.
i feel better after venting it out here. so dont think much of my entries rite.
im stuck inbetween reality and dream/fantasy. keep mixing them up.
i really have to stop dreaming abt you. i have to kill those "hopes". i've got to really get out of the pithole. its just too tiring. too draining. too diff to do so. cos it wasnt a fair sittuation. cos weren given the chance.cos it'll always be you. nuff said. it'll stop here.
i dun tink you were treated right. or deserves such treatment.i've only got myself to blame.too fickle-minded. should start appreciating you. okay. after my submission. *wink*
hah i feel bad for making you go just like that.
u'll be seeing less of me day by day. time flies too fast. too many things to do with so little time left. bah. my weekends are packed. and my weekdays, i think i haf to forgo the trg. i dunno. wat say you?
i raelly like this pic. i remembered i lost my bro's ez link card here. heh. but yah. haha.
RSN tournie. haha nice pic. i cant seem to stay away from blogging. its e only thing dat keeps me in touch with civilisation.lol
i guess this will be the last i blog. muaha okay mayb except certain special occasion lah.
muahaha okay i like this pic alot. heh
yesh. i deleted some of the tags cos i dun really like it there.
went out wif candy and vic. haha cheated my feelings. tot gonna come home straight. but yeah it was all fine and good.
noe wat. yes i noe u all dunno. i like this song. one of the song from 10 things i hate about you, one of my favourite movies ya.
Mistaken by Save Ferris
there's no joy without the pain
it's the pain that makes us strong
but sometimes it's just so hard to
carry on when you said that you
don't care when you said that you'd
be there well i wonder just how did
things go so wrong
with everything we had
and you know it's just so sad
but who's to blame
so who are you
i thought i knew
i guess i was mistaken
so say goodbye
don't tell me why
i guess i was mistaken
i know i can't run to you again
cuz you would only run away
i guess there's nothing i can
do to make you stay you said that
you would never leave a lie you told
and i believed and now you wanna go
and throw this all away so what is happening
here it's exactly as i feared your just the same
so who are you
i thought i knew
i guess i was mistaken
so say goodbye
don't tell me why
i guess i was mistaken
as i blame myself again
wondering what i did
you tell me that you still might
care for me you say that your
confused but thats really no
excuse you don't get sympathy
cuz i don't need this mind trip
i must be myself must free myself
from you and all you put me through
so who are you
i thought i knew
i guess i was mistaken
so say goodbye
don't tell me why
i guess i was mistaken
cuz i only wanted you
pretty much like it cos there r some truth to it. makes me reflect. hmm. and yes i love Obssession by Frankie J.. sweeeeeeeeet.
i dun tink you were treated right. or deserves such treatment.i've only got myself to blame.too fickle-minded. should start appreciating you. okay. after my submission. *wink*
hah i feel bad for making you go just like that.
u'll be seeing less of me day by day. time flies too fast. too many things to do with so little time left. bah. my weekends are packed. and my weekdays, i think i haf to forgo the trg. i dunno. wat say you?
Friday, March 04, 2005
i raelly like this pic. i remembered i lost my bro's ez link card here. heh. but yah. haha.
RSN tournie. haha nice pic. i cant seem to stay away from blogging. its e only thing dat keeps me in touch with civilisation.lol
Thursday, March 03, 2005
i guess this will be the last i blog. muaha okay mayb except certain special occasion lah.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
muahaha okay i like this pic alot. heh
mistaken.
hmm okay i agree with suzi. doodleboard sucks. sorry ya. so back to my old tag board.yesh. i deleted some of the tags cos i dun really like it there.
went out wif candy and vic. haha cheated my feelings. tot gonna come home straight. but yeah it was all fine and good.
noe wat. yes i noe u all dunno. i like this song. one of the song from 10 things i hate about you, one of my favourite movies ya.
Mistaken by Save Ferris
there's no joy without the pain
it's the pain that makes us strong
but sometimes it's just so hard to
carry on when you said that you
don't care when you said that you'd
be there well i wonder just how did
things go so wrong
with everything we had
and you know it's just so sad
but who's to blame
so who are you
i thought i knew
i guess i was mistaken
so say goodbye
don't tell me why
i guess i was mistaken
i know i can't run to you again
cuz you would only run away
i guess there's nothing i can
do to make you stay you said that
you would never leave a lie you told
and i believed and now you wanna go
and throw this all away so what is happening
here it's exactly as i feared your just the same
so who are you
i thought i knew
i guess i was mistaken
so say goodbye
don't tell me why
i guess i was mistaken
as i blame myself again
wondering what i did
you tell me that you still might
care for me you say that your
confused but thats really no
excuse you don't get sympathy
cuz i don't need this mind trip
i must be myself must free myself
from you and all you put me through
so who are you
i thought i knew
i guess i was mistaken
so say goodbye
don't tell me why
i guess i was mistaken
cuz i only wanted you
pretty much like it cos there r some truth to it. makes me reflect. hmm. and yes i love Obssession by Frankie J.. sweeeeeeeeet.
im losing hope. and faith. help me
hmmm. i dun understand y. it's happening right before my eye.
y do girls like bad boy kind of guys
and y do guys like those bad image kind of girls?
interesting.
just don't come running to me, cursing ya.
and mayb im too picky. yah i tink so too.
hmmm. i dun understand y. it's happening right before my eye.
y do girls like bad boy kind of guys
and y do guys like those bad image kind of girls?
interesting.
just don't come running to me, cursing ya.
and mayb im too picky. yah i tink so too.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
boo hoo. i had a weird drm. yesh i took a nap. haha i needed it lah. i drmt of serena, and ann tay was super close to serena. and i drmt of anne goh again. and karen and arh crap. more of those players and i dunno. i drmt i was in a themepark with them. hmmm
o well. anyway today's my brother's birthday. yep yep.15th already ar. anyway i wanna go prepare stuffs for him. haha absolutely. more cakes. damn shldn haf snack just now.
im just taking a break from my work.
o well. anyway today's my brother's birthday. yep yep.15th already ar. anyway i wanna go prepare stuffs for him. haha absolutely. more cakes. damn shldn haf snack just now.
Suhaidah
from this day forward your superhero name will be:
The Speedy
Cat
your special power is: Shape-Shifter
im just taking a break from my work.
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