heh.
i m officially broke. haha and i think i gonna starve myself next week. to get myself some stuffs.n oh yah, i'll probably look like a zombie with mood swings cos i doubt there is any time for me to slp. so pardon me if i appear aloof or rude.
& i gonna skip afew trgs? heh i gonna miss trgs badly. my course sux cos of this. architorture.
had sushi session again! hahah thanks ar candy n daph. i cried alot of times. haha cos the wasabi too shiok.
im tired but i need to do work. shittos. i hate dc & bp submission cos it's all too technical. boring.
and im such a compulsive sms-er. really. i can exceed my 900 free smses even before the end of the mth. and i wonder all the time where did all my smses go? and yah, i've exceeded it. so pardon me again if i dun reply which is very unlikely.
woohooo
i love yest. very much cos i received lotsa presies eh. thanks candy, fei, feli, sab, hafidz, the pillow and everyone(including weiyin & the guys in the class eh) who made it great. muacks. n oh yah. i saw my favourite helmet yest. how cool is that? *grin*both class and trg was damn cooool
those who missed out on it, well too bad. we were having a blast in the adrc and well there were some students who refused to join us. of cos work comes first to them. salute them for that.
but i really enjoyed the exchange gifts session. lol our lecturer was frigging kind enough to buy us finger food. and all those games inbetween, it felt great. especially the dancing part. i was practically laughing out loud all the way, seeing my classmates( hmm more like the guys + the lecturer) doing all kind of moves. william hung, full monty, dirty dancing, ball dancing. it was just hilarious. well, girls rules rite? that's why we won. *wink*
and the rugger's exchange was just as fun. with the crazy bunch of ppl. i love them ar. eh u guys rawk ar. i got a pillow!!!! make it a BABE one. muahaha fizaaaa, aish. i gt a pillow u noe. heh. doesn matter if i din get yours aish.*rolls eyes* lol haha trg was shiok ar.
you know, its funny how fates work. like for example, i wanted to eat this kuih but no more already but during the makaning session, there was two boxes of it. haha and when i least expect to see it, there it was, right before my eyes. and how funny, i happened to receive the gift from my kawan baik, when it cld have been anyone else. and how i was thinking hw great it wld be to get a pillow but din get it during e class exchange gift but instead gt it during the ruggies exchange gifts. n it's a cool one u noe. haha we tend to get disappointed very easily, but little did we know that, we will get what we want, but in a different way. and we should be thankful for that.
Thursday, December 23, 2004
oh rite. im a whole lot better now. haha happy. yesh. me.
went suntec with aish and malik a.k.a my "scandal" haha lame. but yeah. n fiza wasnt there. so sad. next time ar makcik.
went around looking for presies. took pics. mad ones. n i saw pink sportsbike! so frigging cool.
aish took a pic of it but it's blur ar.
u noe wat. im stuck in between being a girl in a conservative era or the 21sth century. guess lah what i mean. i have to make a decision. It's either i start or nothing happen.
had a chat with a friend yest night. hmmm din noe what to do now. actually. haha but im taking my time. i think.
oh right. eh me start smoking u noe.
haha rite. wait long long eh.
bored waiting for the ladiessssssss...
i like this picture. heh. cikgu bedah kerper.
muahahah me & aish. posing ar. for fun.
alrite. dat's all
went suntec with aish and malik a.k.a my "scandal" haha lame. but yeah. n fiza wasnt there. so sad. next time ar makcik.
went around looking for presies. took pics. mad ones. n i saw pink sportsbike! so frigging cool.
aish took a pic of it but it's blur ar.
u noe wat. im stuck in between being a girl in a conservative era or the 21sth century. guess lah what i mean. i have to make a decision. It's either i start or nothing happen.
had a chat with a friend yest night. hmmm din noe what to do now. actually. haha but im taking my time. i think.
oh right. eh me start smoking u noe.
haha rite. wait long long eh.
bored waiting for the ladiessssssss...
i like this picture. heh. cikgu bedah kerper.
muahahah me & aish. posing ar. for fun.
alrite. dat's all
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
hmm.in a state confusion.ocean of emptiness. no emotions or watsoever. everything else is fake.
i r-e-f-u-s-e to think. i've blocked everything out of my mind. e-v-e-r-y single thing. i don't wish to think about all those minor things. i dont wish to think abt happy thoughts. or sad thoughts. im like a walking dummy. heh
Been wondering abt what sab said. Bout how women are weird creatures. Complex more like it.
Let met think more abt why i think its true. well, i can think bout this cos it doesn involve feelings.
hmm going back to class in like 10 mins time. maybe i'll just spend my time daydreaming. the lecturer is so boring. i like the module. but yeah.
i was irritating. annoying. attitude. whiny. mad. rude. mean. fierce.bitchy. everything and anything that i wldn't do to hurt ppl's feelings. What i felt today was that, whatever u gave me, it'll bounce back to you. U get what you gave. I felt like a mirror. Im sorry. I just don't have the energy to absorb it and say its okay & be nice. Mentally and physically exhausted.
I saw someone that made my heart stopped for awhile. my 1st ex. i was quite shock but pretended not to see him. unfinished business. i wldn noe what to say if he actually saw me..
We could have settled it if he was honest enough. I was dumb and m still dumb. Im just too giving, nvr taking. Too nice, nvr learning my lessons. What i thought was that everyone is an angel. That they are not bad at all. I felt and feel disgusted knowing there are people who are mean. pfffftt. let bygones be bygones.
im terribly sorry. for nt being myself. till someone din even noe how to react to it.
i feel like crying. im just too tired. but yeah i haven been crying for long. mayb it's time to let it out.
And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you, so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here I go, so dishonestly
Leave a note for you, my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
nice song rite fiza. *smiles*
i r-e-f-u-s-e to think. i've blocked everything out of my mind. e-v-e-r-y single thing. i don't wish to think about all those minor things. i dont wish to think abt happy thoughts. or sad thoughts. im like a walking dummy. heh
Been wondering abt what sab said. Bout how women are weird creatures. Complex more like it.
Let met think more abt why i think its true. well, i can think bout this cos it doesn involve feelings.
hmm going back to class in like 10 mins time. maybe i'll just spend my time daydreaming. the lecturer is so boring. i like the module. but yeah.
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
bitchy moments eh
i've had my bitchy moments before. today is just one of those days.i was irritating. annoying. attitude. whiny. mad. rude. mean. fierce.bitchy. everything and anything that i wldn't do to hurt ppl's feelings. What i felt today was that, whatever u gave me, it'll bounce back to you. U get what you gave. I felt like a mirror. Im sorry. I just don't have the energy to absorb it and say its okay & be nice. Mentally and physically exhausted.
I saw someone that made my heart stopped for awhile. my 1st ex. i was quite shock but pretended not to see him. unfinished business. i wldn noe what to say if he actually saw me..
We could have settled it if he was honest enough. I was dumb and m still dumb. Im just too giving, nvr taking. Too nice, nvr learning my lessons. What i thought was that everyone is an angel. That they are not bad at all. I felt and feel disgusted knowing there are people who are mean. pfffftt. let bygones be bygones.
im terribly sorry. for nt being myself. till someone din even noe how to react to it.
i feel like crying. im just too tired. but yeah i haven been crying for long. mayb it's time to let it out.
Only One
Broken, this fragile thing nowAnd I can't, I can't pick up the pieces
And I've thrown my words all around
But I can't, I can't give you a reason
I feel so broken up (so broken up)
And I give up (I give up)
I just want to tell you, so you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do
You are my only, my only one
Made my mistakes, let you down
And I can't, I can't hold on for too long
Ran my whole life in the ground
And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone
And something's breaking up (breaking up)
I feel like giving up (like giving up)
I won't walk out until you know
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do
You are my only my only one
Here I go, so dishonestly
Leave a note for you, my only one
And I know you can see right through me
So let me go and you will find someone
Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you
You are my only one
I let go, there's just no one, no one like you
You are my only, my only one
My only one
My only one
My only one
You are my only, my only one
nice song rite fiza. *smiles*
just wanna say, if you guys are ever down, im here waiting, for your fone call if you ever need me. really. will be there for you. and if you ever think that no one cares, i'm here. so cheer up. things will be alright.
anyhoo, my left and right seats are empty and so i moved next to aish. Im missing the one on my right. Take care k babe. muacks. haha
i was "late" for class. later then my usual time is late. but i was still considered early. im so tired but trg yest was s.h.i.o.k. i like. my brain releases more happy hormones after such sessions.
sun was good. hah went out with Daph. saw the hiphop dances. damn cool.
national treasure was cool too. Nicholas cage reminds me of 1 guy from my course.
n i enjoyed the sushi session. with wasabi. damn s.h.i.o.k. haha i love the feeling of the wasabi going up my nose. i feel high. i need more sushi sessions and Daph must be there. i like to see her reactions. haha cracks me up.
yest was good i guess. erm actually no. i had diarrhoea in the morn and it kind of weaken me and gave me terrible headaches. Was down with flu too but i guess i got better after seeing the babes. Some funny thing happened yest after lunch. totally eh. Im not sure how i gonna face the guy again.
the dinner yest was good too. of cos, must see the company. Those crazy ppl. I feel like watching army daze ar. n the slumber party pleeeeeeasssse. muahahahahaha
hmm i don't feel saying what im feeling or htink. Im feeling alot of things but somehow it's best not to show it. It'll bring me down. At the moment i shall just hum my fav song. *smiles*
yesterday was pretty good. the 4 little girls were cool. talented. n frigging adorable! they looked super cute. haha the company was good. n i won something. how lucky. 23, good number eh sab. anyhow, all these are just superficial, what matter most was that we, Singapore Poly Women Touch Rugby team was there to receive the plaque. because we won the plate's champion. how wonderful is that? our team, engraved on the plaque. damn. a great sense of belonging. not everyday we can feel such sense of achievements. and a big thank you to Singapore Police for organising such event. it was the effort that matters. nt the food or the entertainment. *smiles*
i've always thought that, anything or everything happens for a reason. If we happen to run into a mishap, we should just embrace it and overcome it. and then learn the lesson and get over it. I feel that, there is no point in brooding over it. and of cos cherish everyone in your life.
I find it easy giving advices but when it comes to myself, i find it hard putting in use. But I'm trying. n I seriously don't give a care if anyone is plotting an evil scheme on me cos in the end, the one who get hurt tremendously is not me.
i've learnt that, as long as i'm determined with what i want and what i want to do, things will go fine. learn to give more but not expect more. you won't get hurt in that way but get a feeling of goodness.
did i ever mention that hurt is just a feeling? that the ability to control it is within our hands?
that it is all in the mind? and that we get hurt every single day, those scars, those words. but we din feel it cos we ignored it or we occupied ourselves with more things that makes us happy. cos we don't think abt it. that's why the feeling of hurt dissipate. n den it goes back again to us, our mind, our thinking. our worst enemy is our own self. we can make ourself happy or sad. it's up to individuals.
anyway i saw this poem on daph's fren's blog. i like it alot.
next time if der is any outing or watever, i cant mention it on my blog. cos it might turn out otherwise. just pray that there is still available rooms.
hahah sabbbbbbbb i love the pics. heh. eh i can take video clips on my hp n put on my comp. next time we can take ar. haha den burn to cd also. *grin*
i admire her for determination. cos i simply dun haf dat kind of will power. as in, if i want to do something, i've gt to do it straight away n nt wait any sec longer cos by the time i wait, the feeling will b gone. n den i'll procrastinate till i dun feel like doing it anymore. n i like to do things last minute. more exciting. more challenging? heh. haha cos if everything is planned out den it's boring. mendak seh. heh
hmmm, i wonder. y r some sales assistants damn irritating? i mean i merely asked some qn but she had to ans like i owed her big money. i mean wth? its irritating. they r paid to serve the customers rite? if nt y in the world will they b employed? y cant they be more like me? hahaha *rolls eyes* im such a nice service assistant. smiles even i can hear them cursing at 4 no reasons.
hmm, i was thinking. i think i can safely say i was NVR infatuated with gd looking guys. or mayb i dun get infatuations at all. i find it impossible. i'll probably comment "oh dat guy is cute" but to ever drm of being with that person is nt wat i will do. but yeah. i dun wanna get unnecessary excitements. i dun tink i had any guy hu made my ears red. well except for dr yap. but he's diff.*smiles* i tink i shld take back watever i just said. haha bah. sab, take no offence ar.
muahaha. im so nt ready to b wif any guys. so fiza n aish, wait long long k. im still enjoying mua single life. n yeah sab. im fine. seriously i am. dun get swayed away by watever i mentioned on my blog eh. the essence there will sizzle off after some days. i probably understood wat u said. hmmm, when u go thru so much things to be freed n single, u wont want to let that go wasted just bcos u feel for someone. i had the same sentiments too but tot of giving it a go. but obviously the need to be free & single seems more appealing.
tmr fiza coming my hse! haha erm to do work. i dun tink i'll do anything. probably entertain her or wat. so im aiming to finish up today? rite. n after dat gg dinner. muahaha im wearing something dat was collecting dust in my cupboard. bought it long time ago but wore it only once? haha cos i tot it was too girly. heh smart casual wat.
im starting to miss my crazy babes. haha. crap ar. these ppl. i gonna upload the video clips today to my comp. muahahaha. i laughed to myself whenever i watch it. stupid sia. let's take more vid clips. crappy ones pls. skool seems much more pleasant with u guys arnd. thanks babes.
i just cant talk normally with my sis. cant see eye to eye. heh
cant wait for next weekend. gg indo. to eat n enjoy. like finally. seafoooooooood. heh im gonna go fat der. i miss such outings u noe. n go shopping mayb. retail theraphy. just by myself.
i love having some time to myself. i need it. i miss escaping to my grandpa's place at tanjong pinang. where i can just take it slow n breathe the air( the greener area) n reminisce. i went there a few times, to let myself go. the last time was when he passed away. which remind me of someone.
makes me hate the evil side of human beings. money = root of evil. greed. i dont like.
in short, i loathe ppl who makes fun of my loved ones. n my friends. im very protective.
e_ n _ e _ d
a_ s _ g _ g
r_ a _ l _ y
f _n _ e
u_e _ c
l____ t
____ e
____ d
wat it means is dat, when u talk, dun ya ya.
im still feeling sian. listening to Abba nw. heh. i switched off my hp. i dun 1 any disturbance. i just dun 1 2 b contacted. wanna feel isolated. i just need some time to myself. so like what my aunt wld say all the time, don't push my red button. yeah feeling attitude today.
i drmt of my mum yest nite. her leg was injured. i duno wat i was feeling tho. hmm i saw raziman too. he has this long dreadlock hair, wearing pink shirt wif white pants. it was pretty weird. he was the taxi driver for my mum's cab n he was damn irritating. very. he kept boasting n nagging. i was feeling kinda pissed at him. dunno y i drmt of him, my mum n the angels (as in really u guys, nt those winged angels) im feeling very vexed nw. feeling f***ed up. it was just a confusing drm. i din even think of dem when i was slping. argh.
ever heard of bizzare love triangle? love dat song to bits. its my all time fav. sing dat song to myself when im down.
im getting a lunch treat tmr. frm my so called grp leader. heh gerek ar. i rather get dat den to smooch his lips. urgh.
im missing you.
im wondering, y am i having difficulties relating to u?
hmmm y am i hesitating wif the things i do when im arnd u?
hmmm y?
im refraining myself from asking alot of qns, from doing alot of things?
am i afraid? of something? im so not myself. mayb cos its diff. i guess. heh
feeling rather insecure. so not me. haha okay dun bother bt this alrite. its just nth.
but still i cant stop thinking. alrite mayb ur right. i tink too much.
if i dun tink den im not suhaidah. heh i like my name
oh yah. i like my language lecturer. i find him super adorable. okay this is a first impression judgement. but he's cool ar. open. can take jokes. curious. interested. but having classmates like mine kinda hurt tho. i pity him. hahaha
heh i like this song by Frank Sinatra, the way you look tonight. so oldies rite. but it's a nice song.
im feeling all mixed up i guess.
That through out it all
It's only you that stuck by me A
nd for that I thank you
I love you.....
Ashanti Ashanti.... Ooooo....
I can't wait to get next to you
Ohhhh....I just can't leave you alone
Boy you got me doing things that
I would never do
And I can't stop the way
I'm feelin if I wanted to
I'm crazy bout the way that you could make me say your name
And if I couldn't have you
I would probably go insane
(Chours)
Only you can make me feel (Only you can make me feel)
And only you can take me there (Only you can take me there)
Only you can make me feel (Only you can make me feel)
And only you can take me there (Only you can take me therel)
Oooo...I can't wait to get next to you
Ohhh...I just can't leave you alone
Boy you stay inside my mind ain't no denyin that
And only you could do them things that got me coming back
This gonna be the realist that I have ever felt and
I'll do what I gotta do to keep you to myself
(Chorus)
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Crazy bout the way you....feel I just gotta have you here
and I wanna let you know I wont ever let you go
(Chours)
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Ooooo...I can't wait to get next to you
Ohhhh...I just can't leave you alone
heh nice song. i like. hmmm yeah. n my sis is irritating.
anyhoo, my left and right seats are empty and so i moved next to aish. Im missing the one on my right. Take care k babe. muacks. haha
i was "late" for class. later then my usual time is late. but i was still considered early. im so tired but trg yest was s.h.i.o.k. i like. my brain releases more happy hormones after such sessions.
sun was good. hah went out with Daph. saw the hiphop dances. damn cool.
national treasure was cool too. Nicholas cage reminds me of 1 guy from my course.
n i enjoyed the sushi session. with wasabi. damn s.h.i.o.k. haha i love the feeling of the wasabi going up my nose. i feel high. i need more sushi sessions and Daph must be there. i like to see her reactions. haha cracks me up.
yest was good i guess. erm actually no. i had diarrhoea in the morn and it kind of weaken me and gave me terrible headaches. Was down with flu too but i guess i got better after seeing the babes. Some funny thing happened yest after lunch. totally eh. Im not sure how i gonna face the guy again.
the dinner yest was good too. of cos, must see the company. Those crazy ppl. I feel like watching army daze ar. n the slumber party pleeeeeeasssse. muahahahahaha
hmm i don't feel saying what im feeling or htink. Im feeling alot of things but somehow it's best not to show it. It'll bring me down. At the moment i shall just hum my fav song. *smiles*
Sunday, December 19, 2004
incoherent tots.
i'm not sure what to say.yesterday was pretty good. the 4 little girls were cool. talented. n frigging adorable! they looked super cute. haha the company was good. n i won something. how lucky. 23, good number eh sab. anyhow, all these are just superficial, what matter most was that we, Singapore Poly Women Touch Rugby team was there to receive the plaque. because we won the plate's champion. how wonderful is that? our team, engraved on the plaque. damn. a great sense of belonging. not everyday we can feel such sense of achievements. and a big thank you to Singapore Police for organising such event. it was the effort that matters. nt the food or the entertainment. *smiles*
i've always thought that, anything or everything happens for a reason. If we happen to run into a mishap, we should just embrace it and overcome it. and then learn the lesson and get over it. I feel that, there is no point in brooding over it. and of cos cherish everyone in your life.
I find it easy giving advices but when it comes to myself, i find it hard putting in use. But I'm trying. n I seriously don't give a care if anyone is plotting an evil scheme on me cos in the end, the one who get hurt tremendously is not me.
i've learnt that, as long as i'm determined with what i want and what i want to do, things will go fine. learn to give more but not expect more. you won't get hurt in that way but get a feeling of goodness.
did i ever mention that hurt is just a feeling? that the ability to control it is within our hands?
that it is all in the mind? and that we get hurt every single day, those scars, those words. but we din feel it cos we ignored it or we occupied ourselves with more things that makes us happy. cos we don't think abt it. that's why the feeling of hurt dissipate. n den it goes back again to us, our mind, our thinking. our worst enemy is our own self. we can make ourself happy or sad. it's up to individuals.
anyway i saw this poem on daph's fren's blog. i like it alot.
Michael - To be dazzled.
There is something in your laughter..
That crinkles in your eyes.
I know you're very special,
In many others' lives.
I'd like to know you better,
Your lovely smile dispells,
The ghosts that often haunt me,
Inside my private hells.
Alas, that will not happen,
Though it's no fault of mine.
Should I even mention
It ever crossed my mind?
Saturday, December 18, 2004
morning
hahahah farah's tag cracks me up. + the fotos dat sab uploaded. haha damn funny. heh. perks up my day.next time if der is any outing or watever, i cant mention it on my blog. cos it might turn out otherwise. just pray that there is still available rooms.
hahah sabbbbbbbb i love the pics. heh. eh i can take video clips on my hp n put on my comp. next time we can take ar. haha den burn to cd also. *grin*
Friday, December 17, 2004
long entry. heh. of cos. suh wat. all in one.
hmm, was supposed to go out wif daph but. well i dun want to say. haha heh went to bras basah instead to help my aunt check out some stuffs for her baby. i guess she bought it already.i admire her for determination. cos i simply dun haf dat kind of will power. as in, if i want to do something, i've gt to do it straight away n nt wait any sec longer cos by the time i wait, the feeling will b gone. n den i'll procrastinate till i dun feel like doing it anymore. n i like to do things last minute. more exciting. more challenging? heh. haha cos if everything is planned out den it's boring. mendak seh. heh
hmmm, i wonder. y r some sales assistants damn irritating? i mean i merely asked some qn but she had to ans like i owed her big money. i mean wth? its irritating. they r paid to serve the customers rite? if nt y in the world will they b employed? y cant they be more like me? hahaha *rolls eyes* im such a nice service assistant. smiles even i can hear them cursing at 4 no reasons.
hmm, i was thinking. i think i can safely say i was NVR infatuated with gd looking guys. or mayb i dun get infatuations at all. i find it impossible. i'll probably comment "oh dat guy is cute" but to ever drm of being with that person is nt wat i will do. but yeah. i dun wanna get unnecessary excitements. i dun tink i had any guy hu made my ears red. well except for dr yap. but he's diff.*smiles* i tink i shld take back watever i just said. haha bah. sab, take no offence ar.
muahaha. im so nt ready to b wif any guys. so fiza n aish, wait long long k. im still enjoying mua single life. n yeah sab. im fine. seriously i am. dun get swayed away by watever i mentioned on my blog eh. the essence there will sizzle off after some days. i probably understood wat u said. hmmm, when u go thru so much things to be freed n single, u wont want to let that go wasted just bcos u feel for someone. i had the same sentiments too but tot of giving it a go. but obviously the need to be free & single seems more appealing.
tmr fiza coming my hse! haha erm to do work. i dun tink i'll do anything. probably entertain her or wat. so im aiming to finish up today? rite. n after dat gg dinner. muahaha im wearing something dat was collecting dust in my cupboard. bought it long time ago but wore it only once? haha cos i tot it was too girly. heh smart casual wat.
im starting to miss my crazy babes. haha. crap ar. these ppl. i gonna upload the video clips today to my comp. muahahaha. i laughed to myself whenever i watch it. stupid sia. let's take more vid clips. crappy ones pls. skool seems much more pleasant with u guys arnd. thanks babes.
i just cant talk normally with my sis. cant see eye to eye. heh
cant wait for next weekend. gg indo. to eat n enjoy. like finally. seafoooooooood. heh im gonna go fat der. i miss such outings u noe. n go shopping mayb. retail theraphy. just by myself.
i love having some time to myself. i need it. i miss escaping to my grandpa's place at tanjong pinang. where i can just take it slow n breathe the air( the greener area) n reminisce. i went there a few times, to let myself go. the last time was when he passed away. which remind me of someone.
makes me hate the evil side of human beings. money = root of evil. greed. i dont like.
in short, i loathe ppl who makes fun of my loved ones. n my friends. im very protective.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
heh
f _i _ n _ e... am i?e_ n _ e _ d
a_ s _ g _ g
r_ a _ l _ y
f _n _ e
u_e _ c
l____ t
____ e
____ d
heh. jgn bual world kerperr..
haha lame ar. my topic. thanks to some lame ppl.wat it means is dat, when u talk, dun ya ya.
im still feeling sian. listening to Abba nw. heh. i switched off my hp. i dun 1 any disturbance. i just dun 1 2 b contacted. wanna feel isolated. i just need some time to myself. so like what my aunt wld say all the time, don't push my red button. yeah feeling attitude today.
shittos. bad day.
wat a bad start. all the work dat i did yest is gone. nt literally gone. but my effort wasted. i cant open it in my skool comp. apparently it's of a diff format. i mean. shit. i haf to redo all this stuffs within the day. n me slping late yest was for nuts. n my time today gonna go wasted again cos i can do my other work instead of doing the same freaking thing again. heh. things haf been going wrg. must b my sis. she coming home. heh. oh ya. my comp crashed yest! bah irritatingi drmt of my mum yest nite. her leg was injured. i duno wat i was feeling tho. hmm i saw raziman too. he has this long dreadlock hair, wearing pink shirt wif white pants. it was pretty weird. he was the taxi driver for my mum's cab n he was damn irritating. very. he kept boasting n nagging. i was feeling kinda pissed at him. dunno y i drmt of him, my mum n the angels (as in really u guys, nt those winged angels) im feeling very vexed nw. feeling f***ed up. it was just a confusing drm. i din even think of dem when i was slping. argh.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
muahaha lotsa posts eh
actually i gt alot of things on my mind dat i wanna pen it here but i forgot already. hehever heard of bizzare love triangle? love dat song to bits. its my all time fav. sing dat song to myself when im down.
im getting a lunch treat tmr. frm my so called grp leader. heh gerek ar. i rather get dat den to smooch his lips. urgh.
im missing you.
im wondering, y am i having difficulties relating to u?
hmmm y am i hesitating wif the things i do when im arnd u?
hmmm y?
im refraining myself from asking alot of qns, from doing alot of things?
am i afraid? of something? im so not myself. mayb cos its diff. i guess. heh
feeling rather insecure. so not me. haha okay dun bother bt this alrite. its just nth.
but still i cant stop thinking. alrite mayb ur right. i tink too much.
if i dun tink den im not suhaidah. heh i like my name
oh yah. i like my language lecturer. i find him super adorable. okay this is a first impression judgement. but he's cool ar. open. can take jokes. curious. interested. but having classmates like mine kinda hurt tho. i pity him. hahaha
heh i like this song by Frank Sinatra, the way you look tonight. so oldies rite. but it's a nice song.
im feeling all mixed up i guess.
o.n.l.y y.o.u
I just want you to knowThat through out it all
It's only you that stuck by me A
nd for that I thank you
I love you.....
Ashanti Ashanti.... Ooooo....
I can't wait to get next to you
Ohhhh....I just can't leave you alone
Boy you got me doing things that
I would never do
And I can't stop the way
I'm feelin if I wanted to
I'm crazy bout the way that you could make me say your name
And if I couldn't have you
I would probably go insane
(Chours)
Only you can make me feel (Only you can make me feel)
And only you can take me there (Only you can take me there)
Only you can make me feel (Only you can make me feel)
And only you can take me there (Only you can take me therel)
Oooo...I can't wait to get next to you
Ohhh...I just can't leave you alone
Boy you stay inside my mind ain't no denyin that
And only you could do them things that got me coming back
This gonna be the realist that I have ever felt and
I'll do what I gotta do to keep you to myself
(Chorus)
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Crazy bout the way you....feel I just gotta have you here
and I wanna let you know I wont ever let you go
(Chours)
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Only you can make me feel
And only you can take me there
Ooooo...I can't wait to get next to you
Ohhhh...I just can't leave you alone
heh nice song. i like. hmmm yeah. n my sis is irritating.
heh just had grp "meeting".. so called ar cos tmr must do some stuffs dat need to b submitted tmr. totally can still blog now lah. but heh i've gt things under control. rite.
hmm, read someone's blog. it kind of affect my mood. like become mendak. haha chey i learn to use another word today. mendak = boring. dunno y.
am suppose to go bugis n find some things for my aunt. i dun really noe wat to do. hmmm watch movie after 6? haha nt sure whether i can go cos i wanna go home early n start on my work immediately. so sorry ya if cant make it. heh
i went crazy during the last lect. it was really boring so i want to go home n do some revisions!! haha hardworking u noe. heh okay i've list out wat to do when i get home. dat's if im nt watching d movie. heh understand ar ppl.
1. start on the excel. complete the work programme. by hook or by crook.
2. after the excel is done, continue wif my elevation.
3. haha go my unc hse to print my work. duh
4. and den read up on today's lect. heh i din get wat he said. it was so boring.
i haf to do all this by today. really. or i wont haf the time for myself. heh
i hope my net is working. n my sis is coming back home today. well, der goes my free space but i kind of miss her. at least she'll b at home safely. heh n start communicating wif me.
hmm, read someone's blog. it kind of affect my mood. like become mendak. haha chey i learn to use another word today. mendak = boring. dunno y.
am suppose to go bugis n find some things for my aunt. i dun really noe wat to do. hmmm watch movie after 6? haha nt sure whether i can go cos i wanna go home early n start on my work immediately. so sorry ya if cant make it. heh
i went crazy during the last lect. it was really boring so i want to go home n do some revisions!! haha hardworking u noe. heh okay i've list out wat to do when i get home. dat's if im nt watching d movie. heh understand ar ppl.
1. start on the excel. complete the work programme. by hook or by crook.
2. after the excel is done, continue wif my elevation.
3. haha go my unc hse to print my work. duh
4. and den read up on today's lect. heh i din get wat he said. it was so boring.
i haf to do all this by today. really. or i wont haf the time for myself. heh
i hope my net is working. n my sis is coming back home today. well, der goes my free space but i kind of miss her. at least she'll b at home safely. heh n start communicating wif me.
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
argh. im stress. ahaha rite. suh? stress? i usually take things easy. i tink im making myself stress. heh but i need to buck up ar. so scare myself once in a while is alrite.
damn this 3 weeks gonna b so damn packed dat i wont haf time to smell the flowers. haha heh
rite , i wanted to say something but i forgot. oh ya. my mind is *zeng* dat i cant tink properly or do things properly cos der is soooooooooooo many things on mind. i need to jot down my priorities. which will ease my mind abit. haha i hope tmr lecture can help. heh c wat i mean by my mind is nt functioning properly. i cant even rem simple things like this. argh. my mind is just nt focused.
hmmm trg was good today. haha i like. =D
i love e company i haf in class. haha always make my day no matter wat. u babes rawk eh. erm im not a minah k! haha shereen is a good example but nt me.
n tmr i gonna miss dat!!! haha y am i in a diff class?? i wanna ask for a transfer. to 05 instead. nice number rite candy?? i want e number 8! thanks ar. heh.
damn this 3 weeks gonna b so damn packed dat i wont haf time to smell the flowers. haha heh
rite , i wanted to say something but i forgot. oh ya. my mind is *zeng* dat i cant tink properly or do things properly cos der is soooooooooooo many things on mind. i need to jot down my priorities. which will ease my mind abit. haha i hope tmr lecture can help. heh c wat i mean by my mind is nt functioning properly. i cant even rem simple things like this. argh. my mind is just nt focused.
hmmm trg was good today. haha i like. =D
i love e company i haf in class. haha always make my day no matter wat. u babes rawk eh. erm im not a minah k! haha shereen is a good example but nt me.
n tmr i gonna miss dat!!! haha y am i in a diff class?? i wanna ask for a transfer. to 05 instead. nice number rite candy?? i want e number 8! thanks ar. heh.
loud? me loud?
muahahaha some ppl say i've become louder last time. everything else loud. haha mayb just bcos i tink i was quiet previously cos i cant be more outstanding den my other half rite? well now i can cos im single? heh hahah so yeah dat's explain y i tink im abit "louder". haha i tink i must take care of my manners n etiquette as a girl. heh
my horoscope for today says dat i shld avoid bad influences. hmmm i wonder. heh
anyway, i ought to b doing my work now but i just feel like saying something.
its a wonder, y it is so easy to hurt the one we r the closest wif. its as tho we r taking dem for granted. hmmm. im nt describing myself or wat, just observing situations arnd. one moment dey can b really close sharing stuffs and yet another moment spouting mean stuffs without even realising dat it hurt. hmm i tink, probably dey r just too close to each other dat dey expect the other party to understand. understand. trust. hurt. issit wrong to gif all out? cos if u do, den u will b expecting the same treatment in return but den again the other party may not noe dat. hmmm communication eh? well i gt to do my work nw!! if nt ltr cannot go.
anyway, i ought to b doing my work now but i just feel like saying something.
its a wonder, y it is so easy to hurt the one we r the closest wif. its as tho we r taking dem for granted. hmmm. im nt describing myself or wat, just observing situations arnd. one moment dey can b really close sharing stuffs and yet another moment spouting mean stuffs without even realising dat it hurt. hmm i tink, probably dey r just too close to each other dat dey expect the other party to understand. understand. trust. hurt. issit wrong to gif all out? cos if u do, den u will b expecting the same treatment in return but den again the other party may not noe dat. hmmm communication eh? well i gt to do my work nw!! if nt ltr cannot go.
Monday, December 13, 2004
went to meet candy n vic at dover after skool.
hmm i got a mug!!!!!! muahaha thanks darlings. i love it alot. really i do. been wanting to get myself a mug ever since mine broke. i dun lyk to share mugs. heh but argh finally someone bought it for me. haha thanks dears. really like it alot. thanks for being so ever thoughtful. love my oinks.
went to look for candy's boots but to no avail cos dun haf her size. hmm. mayb we can go n look for it somewhere TOGETHER. alrite?
im sorry for the last episode eh. mayb i wasnt tactful enuff. probably my words were too harsh,
saw a fren of mine, my so called close fren. a fren whom i tot i cld confide in no matter wat. but at dat moment i was speechless. i din noe wat 2 say all those stuffs dat someone told me bt came back to me. how boring n transparent i was. i wonder, was he able to see thru me at dat time, in the train? i noe i look damn different 3 yrs ago. i haf always wonder how i wld react or say if i see him face to face. i told myself to just pretend nth happened. dat i dunno anything. well dat was wat i did. Pretend. Pretending is good but it cause alot of heartache. i seriously din noe it was him. he was just staring at me, looking for some regconition. Bleh, probably i was too ignorant of his feelings back den. i dunno. i cant turn back time. let bygones by bygones. heh
n yeah thanks again for d mug. muacks muacks. heh its time for me to shop! haha.
hmm i got a mug!!!!!! muahaha thanks darlings. i love it alot. really i do. been wanting to get myself a mug ever since mine broke. i dun lyk to share mugs. heh but argh finally someone bought it for me. haha thanks dears. really like it alot. thanks for being so ever thoughtful. love my oinks.
went to look for candy's boots but to no avail cos dun haf her size. hmm. mayb we can go n look for it somewhere TOGETHER. alrite?
im sorry for the last episode eh. mayb i wasnt tactful enuff. probably my words were too harsh,
saw a fren of mine, my so called close fren. a fren whom i tot i cld confide in no matter wat. but at dat moment i was speechless. i din noe wat 2 say all those stuffs dat someone told me bt came back to me. how boring n transparent i was. i wonder, was he able to see thru me at dat time, in the train? i noe i look damn different 3 yrs ago. i haf always wonder how i wld react or say if i see him face to face. i told myself to just pretend nth happened. dat i dunno anything. well dat was wat i did. Pretend. Pretending is good but it cause alot of heartache. i seriously din noe it was him. he was just staring at me, looking for some regconition. Bleh, probably i was too ignorant of his feelings back den. i dunno. i cant turn back time. let bygones by bygones. heh
n yeah thanks again for d mug. muacks muacks. heh its time for me to shop! haha.
heh listened this song wif shereen so yah just feel putting it here n share. its nice u noe.
n i love nelly. not nelly furtado eh.
'Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I cant keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad (yeah)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And i can't take it I cant shake it(NO)
this has no relation wif watsoever im feeling, okay.
n i love nelly. not nelly furtado eh.
'Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I cant keep picturing you with him
And it hurts so bad (yeah)
Cause its all in my head
I think about it over and over again
I replay it over and over again
And i can't take it I cant shake it(NO)
this has no relation wif watsoever im feeling, okay.
hmmm. 1st day of skool. heh. it seems alrite. seeing the babes again. mad lah dey all. still looking the same. quirky as ever. =p n fiza 1 2 change blog ar. i dun mind.
haha had some brief briefing. i totally din want to listen to d briefing cos i felt sick, scared of the upcoming 3 weeks. time will fly very fast. but i had to listen ar, if not i'll fail. so many things to do when i've got so little time in my hand. time management girl. think i wont b able to slp early. i'm gonna b okay after this submission i tink. im just worried. haha m.i.a.
hmm, saw some pics. suddenly remind me of the past. like certain things dat some ppl did n i noe somehow dey regretted it. but chose to ignore it cos it's best forgotten. cos it'll only cause heartache. i noe dat feeling. i chose to do alot things. like pretending it was nothing. choosing to forget bt it. avoidin thinking bt it. n let it rot in my mind. n den i'll forget but not till i c dat person again or saw something dat reminds me of it. im nt specifically saying bt my previous break up. just saying things in general. i tink im full of pretence dat it hurts the ppl arnd me. i ignore situations dat i tink will hurt me. i avoid conversations concerning it. i pretend it nvr happen. n yeah, in the end, it makes ppl think i dun care. im just selfish i guess.
i get distracted everywhere. mayb its just me. i dun feel like doing my work. feeling lazy n i ought to get shot for dat. cos its only 3 weeks b4 e next submission! somebody help me. argh.
haha im scared.
amirul got fever, poor boy. he dun even 1 2 smile. n im feeling slpy again.
hmmm i dunno wat to do. dun 1 2 do work. heh. tmr skool. heh.
haha picnic ar. tired sia. walked arnd. took pics. eat. play card.feed fish. e search for e bridge. muahaha.
but it was all worth it eh. the company.
im just too tired. haha went to acc someone in e morn.
alrite. gtg. i cant slp!! cos got visitors. heh. i need to do my work.
haha had some brief briefing. i totally din want to listen to d briefing cos i felt sick, scared of the upcoming 3 weeks. time will fly very fast. but i had to listen ar, if not i'll fail. so many things to do when i've got so little time in my hand. time management girl. think i wont b able to slp early. i'm gonna b okay after this submission i tink. im just worried. haha m.i.a.
hmm, saw some pics. suddenly remind me of the past. like certain things dat some ppl did n i noe somehow dey regretted it. but chose to ignore it cos it's best forgotten. cos it'll only cause heartache. i noe dat feeling. i chose to do alot things. like pretending it was nothing. choosing to forget bt it. avoidin thinking bt it. n let it rot in my mind. n den i'll forget but not till i c dat person again or saw something dat reminds me of it. im nt specifically saying bt my previous break up. just saying things in general. i tink im full of pretence dat it hurts the ppl arnd me. i ignore situations dat i tink will hurt me. i avoid conversations concerning it. i pretend it nvr happen. n yeah, in the end, it makes ppl think i dun care. im just selfish i guess.
Sunday, December 12, 2004
photoshop is addictive
everytime i wanna start my work, i'll get distracted by photos dat i haf. n den i'll move on to photoshop. i cant stop experimenting wif the tools. photoshop is cool. which explains y i feel like taking suzi's course. mayb part time. i wanna equip myself wif lotsa skills. hehi get distracted everywhere. mayb its just me. i dun feel like doing my work. feeling lazy n i ought to get shot for dat. cos its only 3 weeks b4 e next submission! somebody help me. argh.
haha im scared.
amirul got fever, poor boy. he dun even 1 2 smile. n im feeling slpy again.
hmmm i dunno wat to do. dun 1 2 do work. heh. tmr skool. heh.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
botanic garden was full of pretttty flowers. heh
just got back from botanic garden wif suzi, farah, ross n candy. hehhaha picnic ar. tired sia. walked arnd. took pics. eat. play card.feed fish. e search for e bridge. muahaha.
but it was all worth it eh. the company.
im just too tired. haha went to acc someone in e morn.
alrite. gtg. i cant slp!! cos got visitors. heh. i need to do my work.
woo hoo!!
haha went shopping wif the peeps. haha david lah, shop only. den happy. heh
haha i love going out wif dem. muahah
trg was SHIOK. serious. dunno y. it was good ar. i love running. exhilarating.
makes me feel good. muahaha.<-- this laughter reminds me of ro a.k.a the syndrome girl. heh
haha dinner was good too. but dat mama forgot bt me. heh idiot. nvm everything was good. *grin*
haha went shopping wif the peeps. haha david lah, shop only. den happy. heh
haha i love going out wif dem. muahah
trg was SHIOK. serious. dunno y. it was good ar. i love running. exhilarating.
makes me feel good. muahaha.<-- this laughter reminds me of ro a.k.a the syndrome girl. heh
haha dinner was good too. but dat mama forgot bt me. heh idiot. nvm everything was good. *grin*
Thursday, December 09, 2004
haha dun really noe wat to say.
the durian n mak's place session was good. im feeling bloated now.
am thinking, sometimes im tired of being the sensible one. hmm. i noe wat im doing. so dun worry ya. i noe e rules n how to play by it. haha chey. life is short, just want to experience things b4 leaving e world. just hope i gt enuff time to pay back. nt being sadistic or wat, just stating the facts.
n yeah all those foto taking sessions n counting of the lions n crapping. heh. it was good.
oh yeah, saw my godfather today. totally was toking bt him den he appeared ltr at nite. heh i din even look at him or say bye to him. he left a deep scar in me. it still hurts. wonder wat did i do to deserve such treatments eh. haha i wanna forget lah.
i cant wait for trg tmr. n next week too! haha yay liza joining netx week's trg.
i love the angels. dunno. dey r just so lovable. lol
n i love my babes too. i miss dem. miss our chill out place under the pavillion. heh. things gonna b different now. im free. haha
i've realised, it was for the best. dat it ended. ur attitude towards me din change n will nvr change. i was nvr treated wif respect.
the durian n mak's place session was good. im feeling bloated now.
am thinking, sometimes im tired of being the sensible one. hmm. i noe wat im doing. so dun worry ya. i noe e rules n how to play by it. haha chey. life is short, just want to experience things b4 leaving e world. just hope i gt enuff time to pay back. nt being sadistic or wat, just stating the facts.
n yeah all those foto taking sessions n counting of the lions n crapping. heh. it was good.
oh yeah, saw my godfather today. totally was toking bt him den he appeared ltr at nite. heh i din even look at him or say bye to him. he left a deep scar in me. it still hurts. wonder wat did i do to deserve such treatments eh. haha i wanna forget lah.
i cant wait for trg tmr. n next week too! haha yay liza joining netx week's trg.
i love the angels. dunno. dey r just so lovable. lol
n i love my babes too. i miss dem. miss our chill out place under the pavillion. heh. things gonna b different now. im free. haha
i've realised, it was for the best. dat it ended. ur attitude towards me din change n will nvr change. i was nvr treated wif respect.
muahaha looking at raya pics. nt doing work. totally wake up so early for nth. heh
m looking at pics n i feel lyk chopping off my hair n cut it real short. should i?
haha i need to get a life ar. short hair short hair short hair. ppl growing their hair long n i want to cut my hair short. wat nonsense. my face too chubby. heh. m still contemplating. since dunno when. boring.
haha i miss touch. i want to play touch. im bored. bleh.
i shall tink again bt cutting my hair. heh
m looking at pics n i feel lyk chopping off my hair n cut it real short. should i?
haha i need to get a life ar. short hair short hair short hair. ppl growing their hair long n i want to cut my hair short. wat nonsense. my face too chubby. heh. m still contemplating. since dunno when. boring.
haha i miss touch. i want to play touch. im bored. bleh.
i shall tink again bt cutting my hair. heh
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
im at work, calling patients. which explains y i can still blog.
n toking to suzi. haha crap ar. her comp giler2.
bored like hell.
suddenly i tot of something i heard yest nite after trg n it kind of digust me. nt the kawan baik thingy ar. just something else. haha nvm want to noe den ask me lah. heh
heh work was okay, the normal stuffs. just dat sometimes when i c certain patients dat resembles my mum, it made me teared. n me seeing certain patients suffering, my heart goes out to dem. der was this patient, the family members was actually getting demself prepared for her death. her coma. wat gonna happen. and she was just der, cldnt talk, helpless, sick. the doc said, sometimes we've got to learn to let go. made me think. we cant always haf things going our way. do u noe how painful i felt, finding out dat i had to let her go cos it wasnt easy on her? dat i was the first to noe? dat she'll no longer be arnd? n dat i love her very much. god, all those things. i hate hospitals nw.
watever conversation the doc had wif his patient's fam member was too unbearable. but i coped well. work is work after all rite?
somehow dat had an after effect on me. i was hyperactive when it was down to trg. probably it's just the girls. seeing dem makes me happy. crazy bunch of ppl. haha journey home wif dat 2 girls was good. realy. after so long. heh. i tend to cherish such things more u noe.
im nt really sure wat has changed. mayb im too used to it? hmmm enlighten me pls. tell me.
in frenship, we dun keep things to ourself. honesty is the best policy. heh. right siti sabariah abdul rashid?
n toking to suzi. haha crap ar. her comp giler2.
bored like hell.
suddenly i tot of something i heard yest nite after trg n it kind of digust me. nt the kawan baik thingy ar. just something else. haha nvm want to noe den ask me lah. heh
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
dying ppl. brain prob.schizophrenia.hw docs keep themself sane?
hmmm back home.heh work was okay, the normal stuffs. just dat sometimes when i c certain patients dat resembles my mum, it made me teared. n me seeing certain patients suffering, my heart goes out to dem. der was this patient, the family members was actually getting demself prepared for her death. her coma. wat gonna happen. and she was just der, cldnt talk, helpless, sick. the doc said, sometimes we've got to learn to let go. made me think. we cant always haf things going our way. do u noe how painful i felt, finding out dat i had to let her go cos it wasnt easy on her? dat i was the first to noe? dat she'll no longer be arnd? n dat i love her very much. god, all those things. i hate hospitals nw.
watever conversation the doc had wif his patient's fam member was too unbearable. but i coped well. work is work after all rite?
somehow dat had an after effect on me. i was hyperactive when it was down to trg. probably it's just the girls. seeing dem makes me happy. crazy bunch of ppl. haha journey home wif dat 2 girls was good. realy. after so long. heh. i tend to cherish such things more u noe.
im nt really sure wat has changed. mayb im too used to it? hmmm enlighten me pls. tell me.
in frenship, we dun keep things to ourself. honesty is the best policy. heh. right siti sabariah abdul rashid?
m waiting for my aunt to come down, to fetch me.
hmm realised dat i look very dark. real black. lol its good in a way cos i wont look so girlish. haha
fair = girly. bangla wont get attracted to me. heh. im still young, i shall enjoy while i can before settling down.
everytime i woke up, i've always wonder wat did i say the night before. cos seriously my brain is crazy. i think logically n rationally in the day but when it comes to night time, i say stuffs dat i wldn say in the day. im just more open at night. n bcos of dat i dun trust myself at night, even when im slping. lol but so far, it's been good. haha i need that night time of me to say things dat i wanna say n it's also essential for me to do my work at nite cos dat's when all the good ideas come. haha right *rolls eyes* but seriously. im just more me when it's at nite.
n i haven really think wat gonna happen when skool reopens. all those unfinished business. im nt sure wat gonna happen or hw to react or wat to do. i noe i wont b sitting next to u. sorry. nt really sure hw to face my classmates given the fact dat i've broken up wif someone whom i was wif for 2 yrs. damn, really im nt sure on wat to do. i tink i'll b playing dat tug of war game again in my mind. its clearly shown dat i shldn even bother. but, *sigh* mayb i shldn. will c when skool reopens. i hope things will b okay. 5 more days. so fast n im frigging hell busy. i must do my work asap. argh damn.
hmm realised dat i look very dark. real black. lol its good in a way cos i wont look so girlish. haha
fair = girly. bangla wont get attracted to me. heh. im still young, i shall enjoy while i can before settling down.
everytime i woke up, i've always wonder wat did i say the night before. cos seriously my brain is crazy. i think logically n rationally in the day but when it comes to night time, i say stuffs dat i wldn say in the day. im just more open at night. n bcos of dat i dun trust myself at night, even when im slping. lol but so far, it's been good. haha i need that night time of me to say things dat i wanna say n it's also essential for me to do my work at nite cos dat's when all the good ideas come. haha right *rolls eyes* but seriously. im just more me when it's at nite.
n i haven really think wat gonna happen when skool reopens. all those unfinished business. im nt sure wat gonna happen or hw to react or wat to do. i noe i wont b sitting next to u. sorry. nt really sure hw to face my classmates given the fact dat i've broken up wif someone whom i was wif for 2 yrs. damn, really im nt sure on wat to do. i tink i'll b playing dat tug of war game again in my mind. its clearly shown dat i shldn even bother. but, *sigh* mayb i shldn. will c when skool reopens. i hope things will b okay. 5 more days. so fast n im frigging hell busy. i must do my work asap. argh damn.
Monday, December 06, 2004
haha im hungry. waiting for the rice. been trying to read my book but my mind keeps drifting away to someone. haha i dunno. cant help thinkin bt dat person. i just keep getting distracted. y?
dunno. i just cant stop thinking ar. n im hungry. haha help me pls, let me read in peace. entertain me pls. haha watever i do seems distant. is this hw its suppose to b like? hmm i wonder. im enjoying it actually. im nt worried at all. cos i noe where's the limit. heh. haha darn i need food. so long~
heard this song, wif d babes. n i gt addicted to it.
How the hell'd we wind up like this
And why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late
Nothing's wrong
Just as long as you know that someday
I will Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now I know you're wondering when
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
the beach touch was good, but the last game was a pity. at least dat's wat i tot bt myself. i pretty much screwed up the last game. but nevertheless the previous games were good, if we keep up wif d team effort like tat for ivp, it will b good. somehow we know hw the other team is like now tho its only a beach touch ar. haha appeared on tv eh.
haha, i tink i cursed alot during the casualties test. heh. i was so bloody pissed. haha cos i just bathed right b4 the it started. well, it's just part of the camp. heh. sorry ar girls, if u happened to b der n had to listen to me cursing cos im nt like dat. lol
amazing race was good, really. somehow. i tink it bonded the grp members. it was just abit too short but thanks ar seniors. lol i like this kind of thing. when we do stuffs together for the sake of each other, it makes me feel good. dunno y. well of cos, der must b teamwork.
haha scavenger hunt rawks too n everything else. we din haf any night games or watever cos we were too tired. well, der will always be a next time.
hmmm, it's nvr good to judge ppl before even knowing dem. at least i try nt to. i've learnt alot of things during the camp. bt the ppl. wat kind of character dey r. bt hw dey turn out to be cos seriously, 2 hrs on the field wif dem is not enough. dey r just nt wat dey seem. it can b in a good way or bad. no matter wat, knowing these tiny little stuffs helps me alot. at least i wont try to expect anything.
n anyway im glad, i din expect anything out of the camp. haha cos if i did, i wld probably b damn disappointed. but yeah my grp members was good n everything was good. everyone tried their best eh. haha love you guys. *smiles*
dunno. i just cant stop thinking ar. n im hungry. haha help me pls, let me read in peace. entertain me pls. haha watever i do seems distant. is this hw its suppose to b like? hmm i wonder. im enjoying it actually. im nt worried at all. cos i noe where's the limit. heh. haha darn i need food. so long~
heard this song, wif d babes. n i gt addicted to it.
How the hell'd we wind up like this
And why weren't we able
To see the signs that we missed
And try to turn the tables
I wish you'd unclench your fists
And unpack your suitcase
Lately there's been too much of this
But don't think it's too late
Nothing's wrong
Just as long as you know that someday
I will Someday, somehow
I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now I know you're wondering when
You're the only one who knows that
Someday, somehow I'm gonna make it alright
But not right now I know you're wondering when
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway
That we could end up saying
Things we've always needed to say
So we could end up staying
Now the story's played out like this
Just like a paperback novel
Let's rewrite an ending that fits
Instead of a Hollywood horror
fun.period
din noe wat to update, but i guess the past few days was grt. i like to think dat if the company is grt, anything dat's shitty will turn out well.the beach touch was good, but the last game was a pity. at least dat's wat i tot bt myself. i pretty much screwed up the last game. but nevertheless the previous games were good, if we keep up wif d team effort like tat for ivp, it will b good. somehow we know hw the other team is like now tho its only a beach touch ar. haha appeared on tv eh.
haha, i tink i cursed alot during the casualties test. heh. i was so bloody pissed. haha cos i just bathed right b4 the it started. well, it's just part of the camp. heh. sorry ar girls, if u happened to b der n had to listen to me cursing cos im nt like dat. lol
amazing race was good, really. somehow. i tink it bonded the grp members. it was just abit too short but thanks ar seniors. lol i like this kind of thing. when we do stuffs together for the sake of each other, it makes me feel good. dunno y. well of cos, der must b teamwork.
haha scavenger hunt rawks too n everything else. we din haf any night games or watever cos we were too tired. well, der will always be a next time.
hmmm, it's nvr good to judge ppl before even knowing dem. at least i try nt to. i've learnt alot of things during the camp. bt the ppl. wat kind of character dey r. bt hw dey turn out to be cos seriously, 2 hrs on the field wif dem is not enough. dey r just nt wat dey seem. it can b in a good way or bad. no matter wat, knowing these tiny little stuffs helps me alot. at least i wont try to expect anything.
n anyway im glad, i din expect anything out of the camp. haha cos if i did, i wld probably b damn disappointed. but yeah my grp members was good n everything was good. everyone tried their best eh. haha love you guys. *smiles*
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
hmm i feeling hurt. really. bruised. betrayed. abandoned. worthless. cheated. used.
by wat u did.
i dun need ur constant reminders. i refuse to look at friendster, ever again. nt bcos i still haf feelings for u, but it makes me wanna gag, or puke. i felt sick, sick at the sight of it.
n to make matters worst, e person dat i care much for thinks dat no one cares bt her. im just a tiny puny little thing in her heart. dat watever i said, din move or change her mind. dat it din matter. well, i just want u to noe. ur nt invisible.
im a mean person to u, issit? dat's wat u tink? well, u noe wat. im only mean to u. just u. only u. i've realised, wif me typing all this makes me look like im still pinning for u. hell no. i just want u out of my life. just for awhile. get away.
im just sick of the way u dun even think bt wat u do. bt the consequences it brings. im just a problem solver in ur eyes. im sick of writing this. sick of arguing wif u. sick of everything.
by wat u did.
i dun need ur constant reminders. i refuse to look at friendster, ever again. nt bcos i still haf feelings for u, but it makes me wanna gag, or puke. i felt sick, sick at the sight of it.
n to make matters worst, e person dat i care much for thinks dat no one cares bt her. im just a tiny puny little thing in her heart. dat watever i said, din move or change her mind. dat it din matter. well, i just want u to noe. ur nt invisible.
im a mean person to u, issit? dat's wat u tink? well, u noe wat. im only mean to u. just u. only u. i've realised, wif me typing all this makes me look like im still pinning for u. hell no. i just want u out of my life. just for awhile. get away.
im just sick of the way u dun even think bt wat u do. bt the consequences it brings. im just a problem solver in ur eyes. im sick of writing this. sick of arguing wif u. sick of everything.
ooookay, managed to catch all d songs sang by taufik n sylvester n i tink taufik did very well. muahaha. i love his last song. mrs jones eh. n dick lee's comment for dat song. it's hot in here. heh
went to work, haha lyk finally assisted a neuroLOGIST. n it wasnt dat scary, i mean the doc.
gonna assist dr yap next week. *grin* i hope dey wont change it. im gonna assist all the gerek docs next week. muaha. i hope it remains dat way.
went to meet the babes after work. was suppose to follow my aunt to get myself a thumbdrive but i figured might as well get it next week after my pay. haha wont cause so much heart pain. heh gonna pack my bag soon. hope everything can fit into my good old adidas bag.
u noe, dun really noe wat im feeling. i dun really noe wat to feel. haha its nt a bad thing tho. im trying to feel normal.feel happy.lol. i dunno lah.
tot bt u all the time but m afraid of the possibilities. oh well, let nature takes it's place. =D
went to work, haha lyk finally assisted a neuroLOGIST. n it wasnt dat scary, i mean the doc.
gonna assist dr yap next week. *grin* i hope dey wont change it. im gonna assist all the gerek docs next week. muaha. i hope it remains dat way.
went to meet the babes after work. was suppose to follow my aunt to get myself a thumbdrive but i figured might as well get it next week after my pay. haha wont cause so much heart pain. heh gonna pack my bag soon. hope everything can fit into my good old adidas bag.
u noe, dun really noe wat im feeling. i dun really noe wat to feel. haha its nt a bad thing tho. im trying to feel normal.feel happy.lol. i dunno lah.
tot bt u all the time but m afraid of the possibilities. oh well, let nature takes it's place. =D